... its pong, but not as big as we remember it ... also the best use of the Internet I have seen in ages, only thing missing for our office is how to act suprised ... and another magnificent way of bringing your particular skills to a wider audience ... we thought it couldn't be done but yet again I was wrong, learn to juggle online ... quite a good football game ... what does the 'thumbs up' mean in Iraq? ...

lastly a certain member of our team in Slough is fascinated by another of the female variety and her enormous chest, he is currently devising ways of having a look at it. So far he has come up with the following:
1. Scream "your top is on fire, take it off"
2. Trip in front of her whilst grabbing for her top and ripping it off
3. Pop round her house late at night with a camera (sure this is not legal)

he needs help please

... hope u all had good weekend? ... what a difference one nation, 24 hours and a change of sports can make ... England football team, absolute pants, England rugby team, awesome totally steam-rollered the opposition ... in other news, need new Sunglasses, for your dog ?? ... from the people who wish they'd made titanic ... a degree can prove your true status as a pimp ... terminator 3 is coming and the trailer looks so good ... limpfish has come up with some fantastic pictures of rare birds ... the advert that has now been banned on British TV before the 21:00 (Quicktime required) watershed, have a look and make your own decision ... that crazy Saddam sings his story ... stop clown porn now, its not funny anymore ... err no comment at all, absolutely nothing ... have got trashed b4 and woken up in some strange places but this is amazing ...

... LONDON (Reuters) - Almost 85 percent of the British soldiers killed so far in Iraq have died in accidents or "friendly fire." Troops killed in helicopter accidents, pilots shot down by U.S. missiles, tank crews shot dead by their own side -- that has been the almost daily litany from the frontline. Just four of the 23 British war dead in Iraq so far were killed in combat. Mistakes inevitably happen in the chaos of battle, but that level of accidental death is way above average for modern warfare (wtf is going on?) ...

have started a forum (well not exactly true, have used a mates forum as a sort of shared thingy type of .. err ... thing) please feel free to visit and discuss flamingos, games, nazi admin and the like ... the old grey squirrel test has risen out of the ashes ... at last a new Weebl and its got Bob in it, this one features Weebl singing. So be warned: He sings like an incontinent tramp ... those of you getting on in years like me may remember some of these crass logos from the TV ... like 80s video games? take the rest of the afternoon off and geek out to these babies. Here comes the science bit: They've managed to port the MAME emulator to Java which means you can play BombJack and 1942 in your browser without any nasty instally stuff. And that's bad. Meaning good ... Nintendo protect their image very carefully and have never made a game where Mario holds a gun. They'll utterly hate this, Good ... finally new elftor comic that made me laff ..

... only in the U.S.

NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!
Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28.

"We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a pathological liar," says an SEC insider.

"But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck.

"The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources."

The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall Street watchdogs.

"If a company's stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow knew about it in advance," says the SEC source close to the hush-hush, ongoing investigation.

When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more than they bargained for: A mind-boggling four-hour confession.

Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune.

"It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. "I had planned to make it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in the moment."

In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS. All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time craft."

However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss how it works, supposedly out of fear the technology could "fall into the wrong hands."

Officials are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."

Weekly World News will continue to follow this story as it unfolds. Keep watching for further developments.

Note that Weekly World News are respected for their accuracy, integrity and lack of sensationalism in the same way the Sunday Sport are :-) Other classic stories from Weekly World News include the thirteen oil rig workers in Alaska who accidentally drilled through into hell and were killed by the devil....

my thoughts ... if he was from the future he would of known that he was going to get arrested, so he would of got out of there before it happened. Only it had already happened because he knew about it. Argh! Temporal Paradoxes!

... I can only dream that my obituary headline will be half as great as this one ... shockwave guide to NYC ... at last, I have lost track of how long I have been waiting for this, today is a landmark day for this site, have a look here ... latest craze for deterring break-ins at home, honey I'm home ... new form of anti-war protest in San Francisco ... airline stories, some of these are truly amazing and because they are U.S. based quite believable as well, found via IT Monkey ...

in music news ... The new Radiohead album, which was recorded in Oxfordshire and Los Angeles, will be released on June 9. They have titled it 'Hail To The Thief'. From the NME:

quote:
"The phrase 'Hail To The Thief' was coined by protesters at the end of the 2000 US Presidential election, when controversy famously surrounded Bush's rise to office. The battle between Bush and Democrat candidate Al Gore came to a bitter end, with the result in the key state of Florida dogged by recounts, amid allegations of unfairness in the voting process.
On the day of his inauguration Bush was greeted in Washington by thousands of protesters with banners, some of who shouted, 'Hail to the thief, our commander in chief'.
The phrase has now become well used in anti-Bush circles. A website, that casts a cynical eye over US policy is active and goes under the banner 'Hail to the Thief! Love your country. Never trust its government.' A number of books and articles have also been written, perhaps most famously 'Mediaocracy 2000 -Hail to the Thief' by Danny Schechter, which looks at the role of the media in the election."

This will be preceded by the single 'There There' on May 26. It was produced by Nigel Godrich and Radiohead, and mixed by Nigel Godrich.

The track listing is:

2 + 2 = 5
Sit Down. Stand Up.
Sail To The Moon.
Backdrifts.
Go To Sleep.
Where I End And You Begin.
We Suck Young Blood.
The Gloaming.
There There.
I Will.
A Punch-Up at a Wedding.
Myxamatosis.
Scatterbrain.
A Wolf At The Door.

The group will play a short tour of the UK and Ireland in May. The seven dates were announced at the weekend through their website www.radiohead.com , and sold out immediately. The tour begins in Dublin on May 17.

... you know those guys who wash your windscreen when you stop at the lights even though you don't want them near your car, I want one of these ... looking to enrol with the mafia? some are ... need something to cuddle up to in bed? ... a fun game and slightly different version of snake ... we've all heard the MJ song "smooth criminal" well now we've got "cool criminal" ... top 10 gayest websites (and no sign of HJ's site) ... have already mentionned my word of the year, callipygian, meaning "having shapely buttocks.", as opposed to steatopygous, or "fat-arsed", lend that essential touch of class to your conversations, try Mrs. Byrne's Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure, and Preposterous Words by Josefa Heifetz Byrne, a landmark reference work, where else could you find gems like hircine, "goatlike, especially in smell," or hircismus, "the condition of having stinky armpits"? ... and someone in our office certainly suffers from Cisvestitism ...

... i am getting concerned now ... recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.- Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decided to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that the rubbish bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the postbox when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the bottle of beer that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the beer aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the beer is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the beer, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need to be watered. I set the beer down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm bottle of beer sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one cheque in my cheque book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy ALL DAY LONG, and I'm really tired.

I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail...(credit to Osrm.net for this tirade)

... if you enter "vaginal location" in msn.com search this site is in the top 6, err am I happy about this? of course I am :o) ...

... ... With all of this talk of the Iraq war, many of us will encounter "Peace Activists" who will try and convince us that we must refrain from retaliating against the ones who terrorized us all on September 11, 2001, and those who support or rule by terror. These activists may be alone or in a gathering... most of us don't know how to react to them. When you come upon one of these people, or one of their rallies, here are the proper rules of etiquette:

1. Listen politely while this person explains their views. Strike up a conversation if necessary and look very interested in their ideas. They will tell you how revenge is immoral, and that by attacking the people who did this to us, we will only bring on more violence. They will probably use many arguments, ranging from political to religious to humanitarian.
2. In the middle of their remarks, without any warning, punch them in the nose.
3. When the person gets up off of the ground, they will be very angry and they may try to hit you, so be careful.
4. Very quickly and calmly remind the person that violence only brings about more violence and remind them of their stand on this matter. Tell them if they are really committed to a nonviolent approach to undeserved attacks, they will turn the other cheek and negotiate a solution. Tell them they must lead by example if they really believe what they are saying.
5. Most of them will think for a moment and then agree that you are correct.
6. As soon as they do that, hit them again. Only this time hit them much harder. Square in the nose.
7. Repeat steps 2-5 until the desired results are obtained and the idiot realizes how stupid of an argument he/she is making.
8. There is no difference in an individual attacking an unsuspecting victim or a group of terrorists attacking a nation of people. It is unacceptable and must be dealt with. Perhaps at a high cost.

...another way of dealing with terrorists here ... put another dime in the Iraqi jukebox baby ...

... could not resist this one, one of our top sales people here heard a debate, on Radio 2, over the use of dolphins to find mines in the war in Iraq and was very irate about it, her comment "why use dolphins? and how are they going to be any use when its all desert", cue me laughing my whatnots off at the thought of coalition forces wandering around Iraq with dolphins on their shoulders to throw into a minefield ...

... sort of recovered from last night now :( ... no more monkey spanking after reading this ... someone's done a shockwave parody of the office I work in ... Wha. ? UFO sighting in Norway ... p-p-p-pick up a penguin off the net ... is this real, give the dog a bone or break ... looking to get rid of that spare cash you have lying around, sound investment to be had ...

... lastly for now think your life sucks, have a look and laugh your bits off (warning NSFW and goes on a bit) ... at long last proof that PC's rule, MAC owner = pwned ...

... 47 |457 1 ¢4|\| 83¢0|\/|3 4 |\|3r|) \/\/17|-| 7|-|15 ¢0|\|\/3r73r ... this is how to take good pictures ... escher gallery, oww my brain hurts ... how to make a starship enterprise out of a floppy. Wha..?
This is difficult try it ... great story here if you have the time ...

... best recycling of beer cans i have seen ... I haven't laughed this much in ages, well not since the armageddon sound file anyway, Bum fights check the video's ... happy tree friends (itchy & scratchy does cute) ... new 99 cents shop opens up in Sacramento, this is his story ... Europe's biggest clubs could refuse to release their players for international matches, the club vs. country debate rolls on ... as for this wtf is going on in his head? ...

... last post today, bought splintercell yesterday for PC and I'm in shock & awe at the quality, also new Linkin Park Cd is out today so get out and buy it, called Meteora or something like that ...

... found this v v funny, also, not sure whether its the comic or the comments alongside but this is very good as well ... he who should be called "IT Monkey" also found this although I'm not convinced about its validity ... also at last after a long drawn out 2 years of managing / administering the easynet fantasy football league I am top this month with 54 points, cue lap of honour, or as thats a bit far I'll just run around the office with my shirt over my head, no that'll get complaints, err hurrah then (suck it down Minnsy) ...

Tourists Questions for Australia

These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Aussie. Amusing!!!

1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking

3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...

4. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

5. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

6. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

7. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna BoysChoir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

8.Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy).
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

9.Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

10.Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

11.Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

... the Government confirmed today that it was following ancient tradition and appointing a number of war artists to commemorate the second Gulf War in song, verse and image LOL ... Iraqi Tourist Industry "decimated" by bookings slump ... album covers that should not have been made (love the pre-Eno one) ... most porn videos are returned to the shop with the tape stopped just a few minutes into the action. Grant Stoddard theorises that a man may only watch 24 hours of porn in his life. He decided to do it in one day ... is it a bird? a plane? no its the first ever superman comic scanned in (for some reason I find this quite cool) ... friends reunited are fast becoming the reality TV on the net, they have now created GenesConnected.co.uk What's in it for you? If enough people join in then we'll be able to find out how everybody in the UK is related to everyone else ... Oi Dave I found another one for you, oops ... whilst on books just finished an incredibly funny (and sad) book by Tony Hawks "Playing the Moldovans at Tennis", Looks like Tony Hawks has started a new career as a serial dare-taker with a hint of travel writing. Can't be long before he takes a film crew with him and turns one of these dares into a TV series. I read Round Ireland with a Fridge, loaned to me by CJ, which was the story of his bet that he could hitchhike around Ireland. This book is the same theme ("go overseas for crazy bet"), but covers Moldova, Ireland, Israel, Liverpool and trying to beat the Moldovan national football (soccer) team at tennis. A touch more ambitious. I thought "ergh, same old stuff, different setting" and pretty much decided that I would enjoy the book but not be amazed (how wrong was I ?) ...

... we're back, did we miss anything ? ... the piccys are up of Rome trip on the galleries page, impressions of Rome, food & vino - magnifico, sights & atmosphere - eccellente (hmm do I detect a thread here), weather - scorchio, traffic & driving standards - def. Chris Waddle (you are only marginally safer on pedestrian crossings as you are on the open road), very enjoyable trip and one I would love to do again ... as for other stuff ... fake or foto is good ... only in NY ... and CH5 are releasing a new hidden camera prgram called SWAG

... completely in awe of what I have seen today, St Pauls Square and the Vatican were awesome, the pictures I have taken do it no justice at all, I recomend any of you who have not visited this beautiful place b4 to get out here and sample it asap ... it will take 222,235,260 of me to reach the moon ... Live camera of downtown Baghad (wow fireworks tonight) ... fancy me some bum wines tonight ...

... hey there posting from hotel in rome, weathers fine glad u r not here, beautiful beer & food and the women, WOW, hope the wife doesnt read this ç) oops Italian keyboard

... I'm so proud :P company I am currently employed with are taking other ISP's and BT to task by releasing previously unheard of solutions at amazing pricing, big up to marketing with the press coverage we have got as well, big bucks comission here we go ...

... with all the doom & gloom on the horizon

BREAKING NEWS FROM IRAQ
----------------------------------------------
PARIS, FRANCE - President Jacques Chirac announced today that France would be deploying two elite units of French troops to Iraq in the event of war. Five hundred crack troops from the 2nd Groupement d'Instruction en Abandonment are mobilizing to assist the Iraqi Army in the finer points of military surrender. "The immediate capitulation of an armed force is a delicate and intricate tactic in which we French have much experience." said Defense Ministry spokesperson General de Armee Francois-Phillippe Hommes de Petit-Pommes. "There is a certain protocol in laying down your arms or fleeing the battlefield. To wave the white flag while remaining arrogant, pompous and insufferable requires experience and training. The French Army believes it is second to none in the fine art of surrendering quickly. The record of our armed forces in that area speaks for itself. The Iraqi performance in giving up
without a fight during the last Gulf War was commendable but slip-shod. We hope to improve their level of surrender execution for the next war."

General Hommes de Petit-Pommes further announced that 1000 advisors from the Regiment de Collaborateurs Francais will also be dispatched to Iraq to assist the Iraqi people in collaborating effectively with any occupation force. "It is more important to protect their art treasures than to defend their honor," the General pointed out.

The General also expressed the hope that Baghdad has some tree-lined boulevards. "It was our experience that the Germans liked to march in the shade, and we feel the Americans and the British might like that same measure of comfort in Iraq -- especially as warm weather settles in this spring."

... ever held a grudge? for 19 years? ... have I got "more bad" news for you ... death pacts over the Internet? why, what for, what do you achieve ? ... need to catch up on whats happening around the world, I like this ... and i thought Hanks site was the worst on the web :o) oh it is look here (3rd one down) this was posted 1.5 years ago as a joke although you can just see his pimp mobile LOL (which I am going to find) ...

... not sure how I uncovered this or what search string got me there, don't think I want to know either ... Marc has come up with the goods again and lowered blogging to an all-time low very disturbing but funny in a Marc sort-of-way, following on from that, Internet confirmation of a file already posted (hilarious) ... outer hebrides should be doing well on 30th of this month... some err... facts ??

Female baboons have been known to engage in a primitive form of prostitution by stealing food during sex. (tsk tsk)

The typical penguin has just one orgasm a year. (wtf)

The average sperm donor makes $4,000 to $5,000 a year.

Semen contains small amounts of more than 30 elements, including fructose, ascorbic acid, cholesterol, creatine, citric acid, lactic acid, nitrogen, vitamin B12, and various salts and enzymes.

Homosexuality remained on the American Psychiatric Association's list of mental illnesses until 1973.

In an average man's semen, about 10 percent are abnormal.

Minks have sex sessions that last, on average, eight hours.

Sex education was first introduced in English schools in 1889.

In London, it's illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle

...found that someone has taken exception to my site and another quite likes it through the bloglink search, don't know either of you but thanks for the links, Badgers blog is very complimentary, the second I have had this week and recomended reading, even though he follow's United ;-), the other not so, so to answer his accusations on his blog:

1. how long have you been posting, since Oct 2002, whereas I have been posting to this website since 1998 not through blogger admittedly.
2. i am ripping you off ?? how ?
3. the site is called "Wonderful", oh dear incorrect again, its called Knobbys WWW (wonderful waste of web),Knobby was my nickname at school the WWW is a sort of tongue-in-cheek putting my efforts down as a waste of space.
4. i have ripped off your blog title? yours is called Wonderful World mine is rants 'n raves
5. as for calling me a "tosser" factually incorrect again I'm afraid, perhaps 15 yrs ago when i was single but happily married now with 2 kids (best of luck with your impending arrival by the way) ...

... ... have put a counter on the site which gives additional info such as geographical region / time of visit and how they came across this poor excuse for a website and some of the search criteria to find my sight was different to say the least - someone searching for Nokia adverts found me this way, another search for yids got me as well and another used a search string of twat to find me - if the cap fits :)

... ahh how the mighty have fallen, troubled times for everyone as Ferrari have to tighten the purse strings by asking Schumacher to take a £5 million paycut - only leaves him with £20 million / year to cover shopping & bills now ... the symbol of modern Britain ? the takeaway Latte ? behave - the Office of National Statistics said on Monday brown ale, cat litter, tinned spaghetti and men's belts (concerned here as I can see a Carry On film type disaster here) were on their way out "to reflect changing tastes and spending patterns." ... have I mentioned I am off to Rome on thursday :)

... click here, don't ask just do it and its real because they are one of my customers ... and why don't I get invited to these do's ... here we go again, there must be a better way of solving this ...

... just had to link this, How would you advertise a dildo? Probably not like this. This cheery little 1950s style video celebrates the wonders of the plastic cock. You'll be humming the song for days. As long as you remember to hum and don't sing the words too ... the lost episode of the smurfs (NSFW) ... according to unofficial figures Cold Feet's final episode drew over 10 million viewers (almost 50% of viewers at that time) and what a heart-string puller it was, thankfully I had applied waterproof mascara for this one :) ... lastly 3 days to go b4 heading off to Rome and the forecast looks good ...

... hurrah new Linkin Park material about to surface... Nuns again, oh no is a theme developing here? ... want pie now, B3ta's editor has a go at Weebl & Bob LOL ... with all the war stuff going on its nice to see a parody of it ... short sweet and its got a willy in it ... limpfish has some stuff that bought a big smile, Gareth "what cover do I do next" Gates new CD, rejected CD cover for Colour Me Bad, the Mr Man they tried to hide

... why oh why, you ask your eldest daughter (14yrs old) to not switch a light on when she goes to bed as it may wake up our 3yr old do they disobey you, there we were watching the last bits of the final episode of Cold feet when I hear crying from above, rush upstairs to find lights on and Rachel has rolled out of bed, thankfully fine just a bit upset, and to add to my despair both the missus and i miss the last 10 mins of Cold feet, thank you Jemma :( ... lastly how did Einstein arrive arrive at E=MC2 ... on a final note Hank's site is up and running again, nuns are at it, I knew it had to happen, you'll never see this cook book, the newest technology, this (if its true) is so wrong (credit to anothersite)...

... if you ignore the americanisms very funny radio parody of baseball ... lego pc some people have too much time on their hands ... does a Guardian journalist commit professional suicide, the theories so far:
1. red nose day
2. viral marketing
3. a data entry person having a pop
4. the journo did it will full permission of his management because it's funny and get's people talking (my preferred option)
5. it's real

... deceptively simple game of jump, roll and dive, v addictive ... also in the Nation's game and i quote "the Republic of Jeffiti Jeff is a tiny, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service. Its hard-nosed, cynical population of 6 million are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

... the worlds first transvestite puppet. Also Im pretty sure its the only toy ever to have a creepy combover ... look out!!! incoming sheeps head ... everything you ever wanted to know about farting ...

... hilarious site and a novel idea & reminds me of certain people ... you know those annoying people who collect rubber bands & make a ball, well suck it down ... meeow, I do not believe it ... not sure whats going on here ... chilly bears are going to be happy ... a colleague at work (South African) asked during a break today whether we had seen any chameleons in the UK?? two answers spring to mind, 1. its too bloody cold and 2. how would we know they camoflauge themselves by changing colour to the scenery

... I wonder if anyone actually reads this drivel I put up ??? ... anyway instructions here on setting up that webcam site ... ill boy's dying wish not granted by celeb ... Saddam has his own web blog, LOL ... also create your own nation here and make sure you visit the Republic of Jeffiti Jeff ... ever wanted to get a stormtrooper costume ?? ...

... Barry Sheene's first national races were in 125, 250 and 350 classes aboard his father's Spanish Bultacos. He had his first race at Brands on 20 March 1968 after taking the bikes down to the Kent circuit to run them in the week previous. He was spotted by a marshall who telephoned his dad to say that Barry was faster than just about anybody else he'd seen on the same bikes, 1976 Championship glory arrived at last for Sheene as he swept to the 500GP title with five wins and a second. He didn't even start the four other rounds. This domination gave him the overall victory by 24 points, sadly he died today aged 52 due to the big C, my boyhood hero may there be no speed limits in the big race in the sky for you ...

... mee-oww the return of the mighty viking kittens ... and with reference to a post last week this wonderful guy has now started chasing his dog with the camera LLOL ... Spacehijackers are holding a party on the London underground on the 14th of March. They plan to take over a carriage and "corrupt peoples future experience of the Circle Line, as the memory of the party will recur each time they use the train." Brilliant idea, shame that the site doesn't tell us where to meet them ...

... a tron game (shockwave needed) ... swing a cat, new Nokia advert can ... presents for the goth ?? ... a description of the new temp in our office, callipygian ... wahay no more lonely nights ... LOL - David Copperfield, the celebrity magician, has been captured and smuggled out of Iraq in a covert operation by the Central Intelligence Agency. The arrest of Mr Copperfield is claimed by the CIA to explain why the UN weapon's inspectors have had such little success in finding any of Iraq's weapons of mass destruction ... 57 varieties of pervert ...

... the transfer was accomplished at an average speed of more than 923 megabits per second, or more than 3,500 times faster than a typical home broadband connection, please can I have one at home ... clever use of the camera and pretty amusing ...

... i want some of these now, and while you're at it some of these too ... want some clothes for the kids ?? ... believe it or not, some chemists do have a sense of humour ...

...little gamers was good today ... Reading move back to 3rd with a 1-0 away win at Norwich ... what a load of crap this is (must have been a poor news day) ... at last Putang has come out :) ... you have more potential than a thug! ... these kind of websites are sproutin up everywhere, enjoy ... how fake are these ? ...

... retired nurse Frances Polack has taken an extraordinary measure to ensure doctors do not try to prolong her life against her wishes .... have been accepted as beta-tester for eve online which is soooooooo pretty, a little buggy (it is a beta) and resonable gameplay so far ... have also had my account restarted by Anarchy Online (an attempt to woo back old users to see new bits that have been added) ... will report my findings on these two in depth later in the week ... Reading are away @ Norwich this evening in a must-win game to keep up their play-off chances (Live on Sky Sports 1) ... quote of the week goes to Man City boss Kevin Keegan as he reveals his tactical masterplan for the visit of Arsenal. City were 4-0 down inside 19 minutes and went on to lose 5-1 "the idea was to have a go at them for the first 20 minutes - you could say that it didn't work".

... Half a joule of energy is needed to get a 50g pancake airborne to a height of one metre, it should take 0.45 seconds on the downward journey, completing the perfect toss with a 90 degree flip, a pancake will hit the pan with a velocity of 4.5 metres per second or splat onto the floor at 14 miles an hour just 1.1 seconds after its launch, its Shrove Tuesday ... confess your sins via txt messaging, not in the Phillipines ... did u watch the WWF match at Villa park last night ??

... the music biz, the radio is full of covers at present, as for the current Justin Timberlake effort its shite, some covers are good: Little Help From My Friends (Joe Cocker), All Along The Watchtower (Jimi Hendrix) but some should have never have left the recording studio: Stairway To Heaven (Rolf Harris) anything by Will Young or Gareth Gates, what has happened to original music these days ?? ... carrying on the music theme last Saturday 1st March was the 20th anniversary of the CD can you believe it was 1983 when the first CD came out - what was the first CD album ?? click here to find out ... why have they done this ?? ... how to hypnotise any male out there ... also check this out got to be a scam

... bloody hell its cold in the office this morning ... nay, this cannot be true can it? ... classic LP covers here, what were they thinking ... find out what you truely are ... sad story but you'll end up laughing, another one here as well ... RUDDY DUCK, a pushy American settler which has been blasted for being "over-sexed and over here", is passing on to the great duck pond in the sky ... wow, the whole of 1984 by George Orwell is now avaliable online ...

... the world is going crazy i'm sure, on the radio this morning a story about a 15 yr old boy getting attacked with a harpoon in Thatcham (less than 10 miles from where I live) ... a police constable and 15 yr-old girl have gone missing together (what happened to law & order) ... vets have given their approval for cats to have kidney transplants in the UK, only cost a mere £8000 ... england snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in the cricket world cup ... chelsea lose to newcastle 2-1 and slip to 5th ... rant time, why oh why does Ranieri persist with players who seem to take no pride in pulling on a chelsea shirt, Newcastle gave us a lesson in how to play football at St. James and our guys should be ashamed of themselves, play well & lose I can accept but, apart from Lampard, Terry, Gallas and Cudicini (and Zola when he came on), there seemed to be no desire to try and get a victory, well pi**ed off.