ok its fri afternoon and things are quietening down a bit :)

50 Shekel is what happens when the bling bling meets the borscht belt

Ren and Stimpy Dutch Oven game. Stimpy farts, Ren gags, and it's up to you to keep as much gas as possible under the covers - you can't ask for a more lifelike game

there's nothing wrong with some good old fashioned winking, winking... with a rhyming pirate. Yaaar

hey there nice name - you're not gonna get the p*ss ripped at school much are you ?

how to pickup a really hot babe - a step-by-step guide that will assure success

Donkers, who represented herself, and her husband, Brad Lee Barnhill, belong to a religion they say requires Barnhill to be responsible for punishing Donkers

everything in the frickin' world comes down to bread :)

i leave you all in the capable hands of nicole van croft, way sexier than yo momma :) see y'all in a couple of weeks ...

last day of work today (friday) woo-hoo !! as off to menorca next sunday for two weeks of sun, sand and sangria :) cannot wait and will post any pictures when I get back

when is this going to stop ? three bladed razors are a good invention, I use one and very happy with it but now we are expecting the Schick Quattro razor, 4 blades ffs we may end up with 55 bladed razors that do your face and your wifes bits all in one swoop :)

do u like to cook ? do you like to get spanked ? this is the site for you then

more later .....

have no idea whats going on here but quite funny

What a bunch of crap. There's no way this guy could survive stranded on the moon for 30 years... :)

what about this for the kids ??

lots of fun here but watch the bear :)

long post today as very quiet at work ...

Rant Pt. I ... as you might of heard we are currently experiencing a heat wave over here in the UK and you would have the right to think that this would be a good thing for are normally cold and grey country, but you couldn’t be more wrong! This sudden rise in temperature is causing a whole heap of trouble to this little island as we have hit 100 degrees ! I mean the roads are melting, the rail tracks a buckling, old people and young children are suffering from heat stroke and keeping an eye on the road with the wealth of hot girls walking around with next to nothing on is a real issue! If I hear one more person tells me that its to hot I’m going to stick them on a bbq until they are done! ... Rant over

Went to see terminator the third installment last night and ... T-X, the latest cyborg killer is sent back to kill John and other important players in the future war. This time however, the new Terminator (Kristanna Loken) is a female, and a hottie butt-kicking killing machine she is.



The plot is typical Terminator and predictable. Arnold is also sent back to thwart her efforts. Endless chase scenes and fights ensue. As a huge fan of the first two installments, I was disappointed with a number of aspects of the film. As stated, the plot is very predictable. The movie is very heavy in action sequences, in fact I can’t recall ever seeing so many cars destroyed. Arnold is, well Arnold. I don’t know yet if special effects were used on Arnold’s body, but for a mid-fifties actor he still looks great. After seeing the groundbreaking special effects of T2, however, this movie just didn’t seem to take any leaps forward.

My guess is that this movie will generate a lot of mixed reactions. Some fans, like myself, will be disappointed, while others will absolutely love it. Those expecting a rehash of the first two movies will love it. Those looking for something new will be a little disappointed. The movie sets the stage for T4, so look for Arnold to either become the governor of California or be back as the Terminator once again!

collection of seventies and eighties Heavy Metal giants brought to life through the magic of ascii, midi and Quicktime

Rant Pt. 2 ... Any time a corporation convinces you to express your "individuality" by overpaying for some cheesy gimmick, you've been suckered. People with personality don't need to purchase one. Rant Over ...

Make your living room a little more cheerful with an Autopsy Zombie Staple Baby

F**king Austria

whats the betting he gets hit by a car next week and wiped out

sorry but just had to post this again, I love it

Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana ("Kama Sutra" is Sanskrit for "Aphorisms of Love") is an extraordinary and fascinating work that deserves careful reading and study - bugger that its all animated here

Axis of Weasels and the site

50-year-old disabled Tilburg resident is repaid by the municipal council any money he spends on sex with prostitutes — to be repaid, he needs to obtain a receipt from the prostitutes he visits and present it to the city's social services department. But he claims that the women do not want to offer him a reciept

Tired of waking up and having to wait for your morning java to brew? Are you one of those groggy early morning types that just needs that extra kick? Know any programmers who dont regularly bathe and need some special motivation? Introducing Shower Shock, the original caffeinated soap from ThinkGeek

sick sick sick, guys pet dies and he eats it after, gotta be a wind-up ... I hope LOL

v funny from Chris's site

OK, so it's not quite Sharks with frickin laser beams - it's sharks with frickin satellite transponders

earlier link missing from blog with hardest cow you'll ever see

another set missing from the top toon babes are the dominion police suggested by marc

Wow what a weekend, yesterday saw the record for the hottest day ever in Britain broken, on Sunday as temperatures soared to 38.1C (100.6F) in Gravesend, Kent. The record was initially topped earlier in the day when Heathrow airport registered 37.9C (100.2F), meaning the hottest day since records began about 130 years ago in 1875.



the duel :) excellent penguin and squirrel material

ever wanted to drive a porsche carrera ? u can here

from the first moment the first Neanderthal scratched a crude stick figure with boobies on the wall of his cave, man has been fascinated with cartoon babes. Though they're no replacement for the real thing, they've served as alluring fantasy figures from childhood onward - from retrocrush

top 5 were in reverse order ...

#5 faye valentine from "cowboy bebop"
#4 ariel from "little mermaid"
#3 daphne from "scooby-doo" - I prefer this version
#2 betty rubble from "the flintstones"
#1 jessica rabbit

why no lara croft or daisy mae or bubblegum crisis girls in the top 5 surely they warrant a mention???

wtf ?? - Volunteering to become a eunuch very much breaks our present day moral standards and quite often leads a person to seek the counsel of underground (illegal) cutters who may or may not have the medical expertise to conduct such a procedure outside of a surgical theatre

i want one of these - donations accepted in any currency :)

wtf ?? pt. II - If it will help, be assured that masturbating DOES lead to blindness, pimples, the flu, unsteadiness and shaky writing yellow teeth, excessive ear wax, a runny nose and loss of hearing. It does not cause one to have hair on his/her hands. Although girls will grow heavy deposits of thick black hair between their breasts if they masturbate often

Have you heard of flash mobs? No, it's nothing to do with Macromedia or mobiles. They're spontaneos crowds which arrange to meet via the Internet, come together, cause a bit of confusion and then just disperse. The first was held in New York, but we've heard a lot about it today as the first one to be held in London finally took place.
The group met up in three Soho pubs. After receiving instructions, they all visited the Sofa UK store on Tottenham Court Road. All they did was comment how nice the furniture on show was. They then talked about it without using the letter 'o'. And that, as they say, was that. Take a look at http://www.flashmob.co.uk and http://www.flashmob.info to find out more.

some pics from the woolamander temple in swg of cuba and me

we kicked some ass :)

from chris ...

When freedom of speech becomes just too much to bear .... ebay have had to remove a set of playing cards as they depict Bush and his administration in a series of hand painted drawings. The "Axis of Weasels" playing cards are funny, the fact that some Americans can't handle the fact that some people actually disagree with Bush is funnier, the fact that the artist is now selling them on his own site is even funnier and the fact that he has posted some complaints he has received showing exactly the mentallity of the angry populous is hilarious. My favourite is: I find this highly racist and bigoted, I am reporting you to EBAY. By making him the "QUEEN" of "SPADES" you are demeaning both gays and blacks! I am highly offended!!!!!!!!! ;o)

and an amusing article from marc

Here's an amusing assignment given to students of an american university in an English class more than likely it's in no way true, but it's funny - and isn't that what really matters ;)
___________________________________________________________________

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca and Gary found themselves partners in the exercise.

--------------------------------------------------
STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favourite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

------------------------------------------------------
(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far ..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dr eaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

---------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenceless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty!

Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

----------------------------------------------------------
(rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

----------------------------------------------------------
(gary)

Yeah? Well, you're a self-cantered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have
chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

---------------------------------------------------------
(rebecca)
Asshole.
----------------------------------------------------------
(gary)
Bitch.
----------------------------------------------------------
(rebecca)
Wanker.
----------------------------------------------------------
(gary)
slut.
---------------------------------------------------------
(rebecca)
Get f*cked.
----------------------------------------------------------
(gary)
Eat sh*t.
--------------------------------------------------------
(rebecca)
F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
----------------------------------------------------------
(gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.
**********************************************
(teacher)
A+ - I really liked this one.

Britain has been basking in temperatures of up to 35.9C, falling just short of the all-time record. Gravesend in Kent recorded the highest temperature of 35.9C, just 1.2C short of the national record hit in Cheltenham in 1990. London reached 35.3C - the highest ever recorded in the capital - as the UK enjoyed the hottest day of the year so far.


if you look carefully you'll see the waterfall in this picture :)



The heat caused several train tracks to buckle - one prompting a train driver to stop his train as it approached Gatwick Airport. Overhead power cables were also damaged. It also resulted in the London Eye being closed for about seven hours - reopening in the cool of the evening at 2030 BST - and in Berkshire police had to hand out water to motorists trapped in miles of tailback following a major crash.

Even Concorde was affected, with the supersonic airliner having to be diverted to Newfoundland for extra fuel on its way between London and New York - increasing the journey time by two hours - because of extra power needed on takeoff.

imho ....

Britain came to a halt in January when there was about 2 inches of snow on the ground yet many other European countries managed to continue day-to-day life as normal. In August, Britain is again coming to a halt because the temperature has gone over thirty degrees while many other European countries can manage with temperatures which are regularly in the high thirties and low forties. Is this the spirit of a country that once controlled a third of the planet?

utmost repect due to man who broke his back while riding an all-terrain vehicle survived almost a week alone in the woods by eating berries and crickets and catching rainwater in an aspirin bottle

I'd thought i'd seen everything until ...

small study in New York measured the pressure of the fluid in the eyeball in a small group of men before and after they attached their tie

Welcome to Big Boys Balloons, owned and operated by the BALLOONGUY as a service to fellow balloon fetishists and balloon lovers as a source for big,unusual, and hard to find balloons

From your garage to your destination, the M400 Skycar can cruise comfortably at 350+ MPH and achieve up to 28 miles per gallon. No traffic, no red lights, no speeding tickets. Just quiet direct transportation from point A to point B in a fraction of the time. Three dimensional mobility in place of two dimensional immobility

From the following brief description, it is impossible to understand how this device works

Pauline Pantsdown may have a scary face but what is she/he/it (delete applicable) doing with their hands

the best video ever (long download but worth every second) - sure I have posted this before but worth another look

you have gota be kidding - in this course, we will conduct an ethnographic study of the behaviors, cultural practices, and motivations of MMORPG players. The course packet will include readings that explore role-playing games, virtual community, and the construction of identity on-line. Extensive attention will also be given to methods for conducting research on-line.

sure I have posted this before but it still amuses me - go on pull the finger :)

definitely NSFW - blinded by the light! wrapped up like a douche, another roller in the night!

a couple of things have amused me this week

Frederic Kanoute will undergo a medical check on Wednesday after breaking down during his first training session for new club Spurs - so let me get this straight he goes through rigourous 2 day medical before joing the club and then breaks down during first training session LOL, the spurs treatment room must look like a WW1 hospital :)

Police have arrested 37 suspected illegal immigrants in Lancashire. It is thought that the group - which is of Chinese origin - was involved in illegal cockle-picking on the sands at Morecambe Bay. - I heard that the local chief constable wanted an armed prescence in case of trouble, I reckon it's because he wanted them alive, alive - oh :)

finally the perfact desktop keyboard for all you land lubbers out there

bit late but what the hell ... friday tuesday five

1. What time do you wake up on weekday mornings?
missus alarm goes off at 06:30, sometimes rachel is in b4 that :(

2. Do you sleep in on the weekends? How late?
what else are the weekends for ? as late as possible unless its nice outside or playing golf

3. Aside from waking up, what is the first thing you do in the morning?
straight to the loo

4. How long does it take to get ready for your day?
30 mins tops (includes shower , sh*t & shave)

5. When possible, what is your favorite place to go for breakfast?
normally eat b4 leaving but if not anywhere with good coffee and danish

your asshole.


What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

for all you pervs out there - peep hole gallery

We recommend this sexy site: gyrl.net
Which Sesame Street Muppet Are You?

its monday morning, over half the team are on holiday or off sick and the phones will go mental ... grrrrr

you should have all heard of invisible ink by now (I've linked it enough times) try disappearing ink - its quite clever

At last someone has created a site to stop this infernal slave trade we see happening every weekend at DIY stores and garden centres:

Thousands of Gnomes are enslaved in Gardens across the world. For too long we have let our neighbors usurp the rights of these gentle woodland creatures. If u see one in captivity send this letter today:

Gnome Slave Owner,
We deplore your treatment of gentle woodland creatures, and your total disregard for the basic principles of liberty.
Your moral bankruptcy is evidenced by your acts of wanton recklessness and the deliberate use of coercive force and terror tactics against gentle and innocent creatures.
It has come to our attention that a Gnome is being held captive in your garden. We do not, as a rule, negotiate with terrorists, however, we request that he be released immediately. Already your actions have prompted copycat offenses, which we have witnessed, including the deplorable use of a Gnome as a hood ornament.
We understand that you probably were not responsible for the innocent Gnome's original capture but rather purchased him from a Gnome slave trafficker like a garden centre or craft show. Please understand that we are not holding you responsible for the state of Gnome slavery today.
We are, however, asking you to put an end to your involvement. Do the responsible thing; free your Gnome today.
FreetheGnomes.com has specially trained caseworkers who will gladly work with you toward the goal of returning your Gnome to the northern woodlands from where he came. Please contact us today at FreeMe@FreeTheGnomes.com.
Although law currently permits you to keep a Gnome in slavery, we believe it to be morally reprehensible. We hope that upon honest reflection, you will agree.

Stop Oppressive Gardening. Free the Gnomes.

porn without the flesh - extending boundaries and looks very weird

i know its not my birthday BUT I WANT SOME OF THESE (especially the crazy eyes cateye pair)

party's members would "continue to exist" as the "lesbigay" league of the newly formed DPP - lesgays go hardcore :)

so cooper-isms to finish with:

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there any more"

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

.... classics .....

SUCK IT DOWN BUZZ LIGHTYEAR

Did everyone see the Birdman of Austria? Felix Baumgartner leapt from a plane above Dover at 0509 BST, with his Buzz Lightyear wings strapped on, he flew across the Channel at speeds of up to 220 mph, landing 22 miles (35 kilometres) away in Cap Blanc-Nez near Calais just 14 minutes later.

Utmost respect to the guy you wouldn't catch me trying something like that, but lets see how fast he is on the return trip when he's got 6 litres of cheap booze under his arms and 400 fags strapped to his wings - TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!

new slant on tetris that works incredibly well, prepare to lose the next couple of hours to this

now its time for a sample of my favourite comic, especially as they are all swg'd up

The late 70s and early 80s were a bizarre period for trading cards. Though surefire series for movies like Star Wars were put out, equally strange sets based on Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (The Bee Gees Movie) and Andy Gibb were also produced. But hands down, the strangest celebrity based card set belonged to "Here's Bo", which featured Bo Derek photos taken exclusively by her husband, John.

On the surface, it sounded like a good idea, I mean what red blooded boy wouldn't want to have a few sexy pictures of Bo in his pocket? The problem was is that the G-rated pictures that were chosen, largely from the set of her stinker film Tarzan The Ape Man were about as erotic as an episode of Mork and Mindy. - found on retrocrush

some really cool pictures here

"You might not have heard from me for a few years," honks Morrissey, "I've been in LA with Mexicans. I've also made a tribute to Linda McCartney

this is a bloke who makes amazing sci-fi costumes, here he talks us through how he constructed a big robot dog suit, favourite picture is the one of him standing proudly in his kitchen wearing enormous cyber-flares.

these tasty little snacks are oven baked not fried! the worms are farm raised specially for human consumption in the USA and are fed on a diet of select grains and cereals. there are approximately 15 worms per bag, they taste very similar to toasted popcorn and are seasoned with BBQ. - more here

kinda like a cross between the old Myst game and Forbidden Planet, but with tree trunks and in space. It's pretty cool, well I am pretty sure it could be if I could work it out :(

what a muppet - Dog gives flasher his come-uppance, LOL
ZAGREB (Reuters) - A drunken Croat flasher got more excitement than he bargained for when he pushed his penis through a woman's fence and her dog bit it, local newspapers have reported.

The visibly drunk man was walking down the street and started swearing and shouting at the woman for no reason. He then shoved his penis through her fence, unaware her dog Medo (Little Bear) was on the other side, police said.

The bitten man himself reported the incident to the police.The 36-year-old was taken to hospital with light injuries but later sent home. He will be charged with "insulting the moral feelings of citizens" and "violation of public order".