The Physics of Cows - (Presented as a lecture by man in lab coat with a blackboard)
Cows have a very high surface tension. Surface tension can be seen in water, in the way pond-skaters are able to skim across the surface of a body of liquid without sinking, and also in the way drops of water always tend towards spherical shape. In cows (and meat in general) the surface tension forces them to tend toward the shape of a cube. The forces at work in the cow are finely balanced, just allowing it to maintain cow-shape. However, if 2 cows should be allowed to touch each other, the surface tension will immediately force them to merge. This larger body of meat is unable to maintain its cow form against the surface tension forces now at work, and so will form a Cow Cube, or Cowube, pronounced “COWUUUUBE” with the mass of 2 cows.

The seriousness of the implications of this phenomenon for the dairy industry, and the future of humanity, should not be underestimated. This Cowube, with its 2-cow mass, exerts enough gravitational force to suck in nearby cows of lower mass. As they touch the Cowube, they merge immediately with it, forming a Cowube of ever-increasing mass, exerting ever-increasing gravitational force on cows.

Eventually, this vast and ever-growing cube of meat will implode under its own gravitational force, forming a singularity. This is why, as every astronomer knows, the surface of every black hole is always a cow.

Centuries of conjecture over the reason for this flaw in the design of cows has recently been resolved with the discovery of the origin of the species. Rather than, as has previously been thought, a slow process of evolution, we now know that all animals were created by the Zoology Dragon. Unfortunately, we also know that the current Zoology Dragon is a bit shit.

The previous Zoology Dragon, now long retired, was extremely successful, managing to populate Earth with big dinosaurs with lots of teeth. His successor has been attempting to create ever-more fearsome Terror Lizards since he took over the role, but has been almost completely unsuccessful, instead ending up with many small, furry and often defective products.

The Zoology Dragon has a theme tune, which goes as such:

I’m the Zoology Dragon,
I drive around in my Dragon Wagon,
I invent animals,
MADE OF CUBES

I’m the Zoology Dragon,
I’m always buzzing and I’m never flagging,
I’ve made more animals than you can imagine,
SO PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR SURFACE TENSION
COW! CUBE!
COWUUUUUBE!
COW! CUBE!
COWUUUUUBE!

I’m the Zoology Dragon,
Making animals is my passion,
I made the elephant and the donkey,
BUT BE CAREFUL BECAUSE THEY HAVE GOT INFINITE DENSITY

COW! CUBE!
COWUUUUUBE!
COW! CUBE!
COWUUUUUBE!
full credit to joel for hitting those heights yet again :)

Some Beef curtains, a pearl necklace on a pair of knockers, a shiny purple helmet, all having a golden shower, while in the background a huge sausage is driving up the old dirt road - seven (count them, seven) innuendoes in the one picture. I doff my cap to you sir!"

finally finished prince or persia (sands of time) and what a blast, if u haven't tried this game go out and get it now, or speak nicely to me as I have a hooky copy on CD :), excellent graphis, fights, puzzles the lot.


maps are great. You can use them to find buried treasure. This map lets you find music related to bands you like. And you'll always strike gold. Er, if you look up Spandau Ballet, anyway. A brilliant use of the Amazon API.
things that make you go ahhhhhhhhhh ... Panda babies, fact: They don't have thumbs, fact: the Chinese call them "Giant Cat Bears.", fact: baby pandas are cute

This is excellent news for all of us :) the Chopper bike is to be relaunched ... Raleigh has confirmed it is to capitalise on nostalgic interest in the bike by bringing out a new version. Raleigh, now based at Eastwood, Nottinghamshire, sold 1.5 million Choppers between 1969 and 1979.

The new Chopper retains the red-lined tyres, distinctive "ape hanger" handlebars, elongated seat, back rest and chrome seat loop.
The only big difference is the gearshift, which moves from the crossbar to the handlebars for safety reasons. Loz Cox, product manager for the Chopper at Raleigh, said: "The new Chopper has been restyled. The biggest changes are the lightweight alloy frame - the original was steel - and the position of the gear lever. "It has taken us nine months to redesign the new Chopper and we know it's going to prove as popular as it did in the Seventies." The Choppers are due to go on sale in April. The first 2,004 Choppers will cost £249.99. Subsequent bikes, without a plaque, will retail at £199.99. I Want One ...

What is presented here is a piece of antique weirdness. If you cannot enjoy racism, ignorance, nudity, sex, or just plain weirdness within their historical context, then this is not the place for you. If you can see possibilities of the humor, the horror, and plain shock value in some of this material, then click on the following links and enjoy. Please, this site is intended for a mature audience. If you are not 18 yet please go elsewhere.

quick clicks:
headline of the year already ? its only January
whale tail is the effect that happens when a girls G-string or Thong becomes exposed as she walks, bends over or squats. Actually whenever you can see that wonderful exposed thong in the shape of a whale's tail. Lowrise jeans and higher cut thongs are creating fextremelymly great Whale Tails around as more and more thongs become exposed.
I think this madman passed me on the road the other day. The video is obviously sped up, but it's pretty clear he's going faster then everyone else and definitely cutting it close.
think your family are a little strange ? meet the winkermans
very well done piece of work that I just can't stop click, click,clicking ...
MADISON, Wis. Jan. 13 - A researcher from the University of Wisconsin at Madison has figured out a better way to slice cheese just use a laser. "At any other university, people would have just laughed. But this is Wisconsin. It's cheese. And this is no laughing matter," said Xiaochun Li, a mechanical engineering professor and laser expert ... more here
I suppose you have to cater for every taste but this is so wrong
According to a study released Tuesday by the University of Colorado sociology department, approximately 95 percent of self-abuse cases in the U.S. go unreported. "As shocking as it may seem, unreported incidents of self-abuse number in the billions," said Dr. Henry Cracklin, director of the study. "This isn't just the plight of teenage boys and truck drivers. Self-abuse affects both genders and all ages. Nevertheless, a great majority of victims suffer the abuse in silence."

games:
space shoot'em up game (sort of galaxian meets missile command)
newer version of snake, avoid the circle and get that apple

Premier League chairmen have voted in favour, in principle, of introducing a winter break starting next season. They agreed to a two-year experiment for a 13-day break in January provided a balanced fixture schedule and the practicalities can be arranged. If it goes ahead, the break would start next season and continue in 2005/06 before being reviewed ... IMHO the chairmen shouldn't have such a say in the matter, because they're not the ones it affects. The final word should go to a vote of every season ticket holder of every Premier League club, but of course asking the fans to decide on anything is a ridiculous thing to do, also I need an excuse to get away from the in-laws on boxing day :P

in other news ...

Two models of masks of former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, one of him in power and one of him as he was seen during his arrest by U. S. soldiers, sit waiting for finishing touches in a factory in Sao Goncalo near Rio de Janeiro, on Tuesday. The masks are destined for stores selling items to carnival revellers in Rio de Janeiro, home to one of the world's best known carnivals, which runs this year from February 20-25.

Shock, horror, hold the front page ...I'm a celebrity get me out of here is actually quite good viewing and not just for this ...

full credit to john lydon and peter andre who both did very well in their tasks (forget that Kerry McFadden, what a waste of oxygen she is).

quick clicks:
a must see site - Mystery Comic.... Great format and navigation...
review of unclemelons 2003 and the babes he banged :)
the pope checks out break-dancing
seeing Pepsi's new advertising campaign has been enough to put a smile on my face (britney, beyonce and pink !!)
magazine directs climbers over cliff - february edition of Trail magazine gives advice to walkers caught in bad weather on Ben Nevis in Scotland about how to make a safe descent. But the magazine's directions would instead lead readers off the north face of the 4,406-feet (1,322-meter) mountain.
tumor is reportedly doing fine after removal of a 90 lb lady
Mudguy, new speedos, funky beats? need I say more? (Quicktime)

tell me what you think of new format please (only done front page so easy to change back if all 3 of my readers don't like it) ...

site hits have gone through the roof this week , normal average is about 25-45 hits per day but past 4 days have been reaching the giddy heights of 250-300 ...

and why I hear all of you ask, because people have been searching for the following picture that I deleted 2 months ago !!, so for all you poor peeps I repost with a copy on the server for the foreseeable future :)



if you want more try here or reckon you have seen better and have the proof please post here (please ensure link works)

some of my favourites ...

Aluminum Foil Detector Beanie - The low-cost device described on this site will help you combat unwanted mind control.
Ayleeorgnet.com - This company boasts that it's "the happiest web design company on earth!" It's actually a spin-off of a comic strip that can be found at sluggy.com. In the comic strip Aylee is an alien who eats people. References to this taste for humans can be found throughout the site.
Baby Smasher - Use baby-changing stations to dispose of unwanted babies
Boilerplate, the Victorian Era Robot - A true work of art. The attention to detail is astounding. I only fully decided it was a hoax when I checked the books listed in the site's bibliography and realized that none of them exist . But still, I would love it if Boilerplate really had existed.



Bonsai Kitten - This site, which has succeeded in upsetting many people, claims to promote the art of sealing young kittens inside glass containers so that their bones will mold to the shape of the containers as they grow. It was created in late 2000 by an MIT student with a twisted sense of humor. The site was even investigated by the FBI who determined that no animals were ever harmed in relationship to the site.
Britain for Americans - Americans visiting Britain can often be confused by the peculiar customs and speech of the island inhabitants. This site, created by John Hopkin of the United Kingdom, offers puzzled Americans a field guide to Britain. See 'British Stick Insect Foundation,' 'CarpSoft,' and 'Sellafield Zoo' for other examples of Hopkin's work
Chrissy Caviar - A woman sells her eggs as caviar.
Click Monkeys - If low traffic to your website is getting you down? (yes hank this could be the answer to your prayers). Click Monkeys will help to create the impression that millions of visitors are checking out your site by artificially inflating your hit count. Their secret technology is an "offshore click farm."
The Framley Examiner - The Framley Examiner boasts that it "serves the people of Framley, and the surrounding villages—out as far as Whoft to the north and St Eyots to the north-east and Wripple to the north." This sounds perfectly legitimate, but dig a little deeper into its news, and Framley starts to sound stranger and stranger.
GolfCross.com - I've been informed by reliable sources that GolfCross is not a hoax. But I'm keeping this entry here anyway because I was convinced for ages that it was a hoax. I guess it's an example of how truth can sometimes be stranger than fiction. GolfCross is golf played with an oval, egg-shaped ball. I have yet to see anyone actually play this game, but apparently they do.
Origami Boulder - The Japanese art of folding paper used to make round rocks
PetsOrFood.com - Pets or Food can supply you with animals that can be used, as the name implies, as pets or as meat. They offer a full range of species, including bald eagles, snakes, koala, and hamsters
Rectaltronics - This site offers "the world's most technologically advanced computerized butt-plugs" for sale. If you think the site might be real, try ordering one of their products (don't bother to fill in any personal info) and see what happens.
What is Victoria's Secret - In a nutshell, it's bulimia. Unfortunately this site had to place 'parody' labels all over itself due to complaints from the real Victoria's Secret.
WingMakers.com - An incredibly elaborate site that was launched back in November 1998. It claims to display artifacts that were found in underground caves beneath the New Mexico deset by the Advanced Contact Intelligence Organization (ACIO), a secret branch of the U.S. Government's National Security Agency. These artifacts were apparently left there by an alien race known as the WingMakers. Also included is a description of Blank Slate Technology, which can send government agents back into the past to control the course of human history. Strange stuff.

blimey what a busy weekend - watched the football, redecorated the dining room (two coats of paint), took old bed to tip, Rachel to hospital (as her ear had infection), also took her to a party, cleared the lounge and dining room in preparation for the new flooring being fitted today and tomorrow, all washing, shopping and ironing completed and even managed to get well pissed friday and saturday evenings :) back to work for a rest ....

quick clicks
1. The fact that I never fly on my own airline allows me to keep a closer eye on our competition.
-Howard Barium, CEO and Chairman, SkyHigh Airlines - more here
2. Jonti has taken a break from Weebl & Bob this week to bring you a musical toy. It's got a big monkey groove that will bust your nuts.
3. Learn Chinese in 5 minutes - your body odour is offensive = Yu stin ki pu
4. Ninja semaphore email - "Give the ninja a message," waves Thomas Scott "He'll find his sacred semaphore flags and
signal it to people." Huzzah.
5. My friends, you have reached the pinnacle of leetness when you can beatbox harmonica.
6. She's taller than John Cleese, her thigh is wider than Anne Diamond's stomach and she'll sell you her knickers for $50. Fair enough, really. Material is expensive. Anyway, if you can whack one out to this then you'll be in our special club.
7. Just take a moment to look at the possibilities that could happen. I mean
the places that a penis could go are almost endless.....
8. Odd dolls - Kids take the most in before they're five. Breed junior serial killers by giving them one of these dolls every time they wear mummy's underwear.
9. Watch in mild incredulity as a bloke man plays Beethoven only using bicycle horns glued to his orange, jump-suited body. Did we mention that he's French? Oh, you guessed.
10. OHP art - been banging on for ages that all the materials you need to create art can be found in the office. All you need is imagination. Oh, plus some sand and an overhead projector. Inspirational bit of video.
11. Return of Spazzimation - Over the last few years the web has thrown up its own style of animation which inherits few
aesthetics from TV or film. You know the stuff, found images, random pop culture references, loads of things jumping round etc. This is a fine, fine example. See how many famous people you can spot in it. Or just sit back and go "What the fuck?"
12. Drawing Adidas from memory - Here's a curio. What happens when you ask people to draw brand logos from memory? Well, they get it slightly wrong, that's what. If you've had some poncey branding bod in to jazz up your logo, frankly you've pissed the money away. People won't notice the change.
13. Hot bitch. Warm sweaters

games:
loads here including spear toss, cannon fodder and insect races

320 is my best - game here



alternatively 529.928 is my best on the spear-toss



the gravity game is easy to start and gets very difficult
or you can try clay kitten shooting

always on the look-out for new ideas and ways of improving this site ... please if any of you have any sensible :) suggestions for the layout or making the content easier to digest or something you would like to see please mail me or add a comment at the bottom ...

Mike Rowe has decided to fight back after Microsoft threatened him with legal action for registering mikerowesoft.com. Meanwhile, domain-name speculators are lining up

Teenage Web developer Mike Rowe, who was threatened with legal action by Microsoft, has been overwhelmed with support from Internet users and has set up a defence fund to allow him to fight back.

Rowe, a student from Vancouver, registered the domain mikerowesoft.com to front his part-time Web site design business in August 2003. Three months later, he received an email from Microsoft's lawyers asking him to transfer the domain name to Microsoft. They offered to pay him a "settlement" of $10 (?5.55), which is the cost of his original registration fee. Microsoft's lawyers told Rowe that his site infringes on its trademark rights.

When Rowe's plight was reported on the Internet on Monday, his Web site became a victim of its own popularity and had to be taken offline for several hours. According to Rowe's site -- which is now being hosted by a different company -- on Tuesday, about 250,000 people visited his site, many offering financial help: "I have put up a defence fund so that I can hire a lawyer to guide me through the process of talking to Microsoft. I have already received a lot of pledges and I thank each and every one of you for that," he said.

Microsoft's legal department may be busier than they anticipated during the next few months, because in the past four days all the top level domain extensions for mikerowesoft (.co.uk, .net, .org and .tv) have been snapped up. Mikerowesoft.tv has been put up for sale on eBay.

ZDNet UK readers are overwhelmingly in support of Rowe. His story generated hundreds of TalkBacks, with many readers feeling insulted by Microsoft's argument that its customers will get confused between mikerowesoft.com and Microsoft.com. D Colonna, a software engineer from Wisconsin said: "If Microsoft believes their customers will be confused by the existence of mikerowesoft.com, then they hold an extremely dim view of their customers' intelligence."

However, as one reader correctly points out that, under US law, Microsoft has no choice but to pursue a trademark case against Rowe because if it ignores his site, the company will lose its right to fight against trademark infringements that may occur in the future.

Reminds me of the battle we had for UKonline with the british government and the whole "easy" trademark bandwaggon that stelios had

quick clicks:
forget that at-st i wanted from e-bay, I want a set of these now
tokyo plastic drum - so cute
see what happens when knobby.co.uk gets mixed up with the bbc news site :) courtesy of topfx.com
another contender for the best site around (click on the white boxes at the bottom)
random advertising slogan generator for this site - Double the Pleasure, Double the Knobby.co.uk.
Lonesome no more - my random name is John Lithium-10 Taylor

fun little platform game here, arrow keys to move with up to jump, enjoy

finally just for the pervs out there (that means you ryan !!) ...

extreme micro / mini bikinis and thongs online shop for your viewing pleasure



revenge of the plastic 8008135
called the dancing slut but you make up your own mind
fruit machine strip poker - harmless fun

More than half of the 11 year olds who passed tests in English last year could not spell the words "effortless" and "participate", a report suggests. Some 75% of the children who took spelling, reading and writing tests reached the required standard. Of these, just 12% spelt "thoroughly" correctly, while "rehearsed" was beyond 67.5%, the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority found ... (doesn't fill you with confidence for our future does it ?)

Worries me that Jemma's school only finished 19th in the county, although over 65% of pupils taking exams who achieved five or more GCSEs at grades A* to C or their GNVQ equivalents. Also notice they are grading primary schools and Rachels finished 44th UK wide which is not bad. Full tables here

especially for marc, our real man of genius at easynet thames valley :)

fantastic stuff - During the 1970s, magazines published in Communist Czechoslovakia were controlled by the state, like the majority of other enterprises. Very few good magazines were available and were difficult to get hold of, so people would borrow and exchange them when given the opportunity. This also applied to magazines aimed at young people, which was probably one of the reasons why almost everyone from my generation, when we get on to the subject of pinhole cameras, has fond memories of the cut-out paper camera known as Dirkon*, published in 1979 in the magazine ABC mlad?ch technik? a p??rodov?dc? [An ABC of Young Technicians and Natural Scientists].
* The name Dirkon is a play on words based on the combination of the parts of two words: Dirk- is the beginning of the Czech word d?rka ? pinhole, and -kon is the end of the name of a well-known Japanese camera which needs no introduction.

can always rely on Sepp Blatter to insert foot into mouth at least once a month ...

Fifa president Sepp Blatter has urged women footballers to wear skimpier kits to increase the popularity of the women's game. But Blatter's comments have outraged leading European women players, who have said his remarks could further undermine their sport. "Let the women play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball," said the Fifa chief.
"They could, for example, have tighter shorts." Blatter added: "Female players are pretty, if you excuse me for saying so, and they already have some different rules to men - such as playing with a lighter ball. "That decision was taken to create a more female aesthetic, so why not do it in fashion?" perhaps something along these lines would bring in the crowds :) female footy 1 | female footy 2 | female footy 3 | female footy 4


What rating is your journal?
brought to you by Quizilla

Enter the fascinating world of this internationally famous Museum and have a unique experience, it marks the culmination of a dream by Ex-Racing champion Brian Radam. His interest in this type of equipment stems from early involvement in the family business which started in 1945 which has finally developed into The Discount Garden Machinery Warehouse Stanleys with over 200 new models displayed, catering for all aspects of sales, spares and service. Yes folks the one you've waited for (with really cheesy music) The British Lawnmower Museum ... someone pass me a chainsaw

britney's got a new video out for her new song 'Toxic' and wow she's looking good for some screen shots look at apechild.com

Found this website http://www.capalert.com/capreports/#Media that's a Christian review of movies. Best review was the review for Jackass. Didn't know all that happened in 8 minutes. Found it off of http://www.landoverbaptist.org (everyone's favorite church).

Web logs have reached critical mass and become ubiquitous on the Web. Even though a great number feature thought-provoking, interesting content, the majority of the blogs littering the Internet landscape are the ramblings of the Web's self-proclaimed arbiters of cool (hehe you're reading one). The blogger behind this endeavor, however, will not bore you with lavish descriptions of last night's homemade spicy Bulgarian tomato soup with couscous dumplings. No, he's crankin' up the level of boredom to eleven. For instance, on March 18, this intrepid blogger stated "I looked at the clock and saw that it was getting very late, so I went to bed." Not one for ambivalence, on January 3 he thought he "might do some things," while just a week later, he made the important decision to "not to do something." This dull diarist offers a humble yet humorous respite to the pretensions so often found in the web-logging world. A big yawning "Huzzah!" to you, sir, please take note Hank you could learn a lot from this :)

quick clicks:
best of eatmail.tv for your pleasure right here
need help as to how to remain calm during an accident
Die screaming with sharp things in your head - Gnome death
simple but effective use of 8008135
some people just should have stayed in bed - latest darwin awards here
need your monitor screen washed? then click here
What do you mean, photoshopped?

did well in this one ..


WOW!! Good job! You know as much about Middle Earth
as I do!! Finally, someone who knows Middle
Earth! Most people think they know everything
there is to know about Middle earth just by
watching the movies! HAH!! well keep up the
good work! ( I wouldn't be surprised if you are
learning elvish!! )

*~* The TOUGHEST Lord Of The Rings Quiz *~* [with pictures!]
brought to you by Quizilla

In an earlier post I mentionned 3d pavement drawings, well I found some more and they are just as good

They should have put in a quarter and moved the little crane over to the kid, picked him up and dropped him in the prize chute...

Okay, so even the Evil Empire has a sense of humor . I like the registry warning partway down the page!

Hip-hop. Bunnies. Humiliation. This one's got it all. Elisse Hamu has made an extremely good animation about someone not dancing very well at all.

Scientists have confirmed today that after a week of detailed exploration, they have "utterly failed" to detect the presence of weapons of mass destruction on the surface of the Red Planet. The news follows on from the gloomy conclusion that the European landing craft "Beagle 2" has also been lost. "We assume this must be due to Martian terrorist activity," explained Colin Pillinger, the lead European Scientist from the European Space Agency HQ in a small Portakabin outside Rotterdam. "I can think of no other credible explanation. We spent hours in the control room whistling and shouting 'Here Boy!' into the microphone but there's no sign of it."

This site's hard to categorize as amazing or hilarious, but whomever made this was obviously insane… episodes are on the right. (flash reqd.)

errr..... does anyone want to ask why, surely this money could have been better spent towards buying me this

simply the cutest thing I've seen this week, poorly baby bats tucked up nice and warm in a special bat hospital

These are great! Never thought super-imposing a chubby asian boy could be so fun!

some arty stuff that I thought was well cool rasterized.org | daarken.com | john-howe.com (example below)



a must buy for all the bike nuts out there, and anyone else who wants some serious high-powered motorbike action - judgement day 2 and if thats not enough theres a lot more here

ride the fence dudes - anti everything (a little NSFW)

too much time and too much info and too weird - no description just have a look and try to .... do something

Monster trucks make you look like a real man (or so they say in U.S.) why not convert your motorbike the same way?
the answer is here: It will make you look like a tiny wee child, particularly since it needs stabilisers to stay upright. Jessies.

Want to be a beta tester for iChatnaked.com? Just send us an e-mail and let us know that you would like to beta test iChatnaked.com. To be a beta tester you will need to have iChat AV installed and running on your computer ... sign up here freak

top of the post acclaim goes to this site that has just got to be the coolest ever

OK I promise no mention of football today after the last two enormous posts (bring back the funny & weird stuff I hear all 3 readers shout) ...



I want, I want, I want one of these please ... CLK GTR | CLK GTR or a Vision SLR | Vision SLR | Vision SLR ...

if we can't get enough for either of those can i have one of these for the front garden for $19,000

be sure to check out some of the fine products and wonderful inventions from Reemco. My favorite products are probably from the Lawn and Garden section (especially the Plecostoma)

Presenting the computer powered Matrix Vibe. Become one with your computer as you plug and play your Matrix Vibe into your USB port with the included USB cable.

hours of fun here just move your mouse about and watch

one for Hank - we kid you not! Astounded residents of Durban's Folweni township couldn't believe their eyes. And they couldn't believe the eye of a baby goat born in the village at the weekend - there was only one - in the middle of the goat's forehead, just like the Cyclops of Greek mythology (and yes there is a picture)

BUTLER, Pennsylvania (AP) -- A woman who was drunk when she killed a man in a head-on collision must carry a photograph of the victim in his coffin as part of her five years of probation, a judge ruled.

PC running a bit slow, this may be the reason ... from yonkis.com

Photos in the news:
Despite all his recent troubles, Michael Jackson has some serious competition in the "rich freak" category.

Speaking of competition, I pity the poor porn stars, who have a hard time keeping up with Paris and Britney when it comes to looking slutty. Or acting slutty, for that matter.

Strongbad excels this week with an appearance in a number of video games :) also check some of the archives such as caffeine , local news and the magnificent spring cleanning
also found Japanese future Strongbad encountering a very old version of Homestar Runner.

And here are some extremely naughty, very very rude little hedgehogs. Bad hedgehogs. Naughty, rude hedgehogs.

Over the past few years there have been some unbelievable achievements in science, technology, and medicine. But nowhere is this more evident than at the amazing Dwayne Medical Center, whose innovations include the world's first male pregnancy, among others.

games
infuriating trial bike game thats easy to pick up and very difficult to put down here
when a game is called penguin blood fiasco you just know its gotta be good
glass world looks quite strange but good
no fat beer swilling males here, have a civilised game of darts or you can try this one thats a bit easier
do you want to play light side or dark side ? (shockwave reqd.)
take the silicon challenge here

75 years young today , nice one titin

pirelli calendar shoot ... more here



These photos were voted by readers as the best images of year... from fifthesscence.com

One of the greatest fears computer owners face is the risk of someone breaking into their home and stealing their investment. The effects of data loss, alone, can be devastating! This page will cover a very effective method of protecting your personal computer.

ninja pirate takes rants to a whole new level here ninjapirate.com with my personal favourite being :

"How many times has a partner with bad breath ruined your intimate experience? If they were a smoker, the ash and nicotine would have covered up the fowl odor in their mouth. In 2000, 78% of people over 17 had active tooth decay, 1 out of 2 people had gingivitis, and of those with gingivitis, 80% had destructive gum disease. Over 95% of these cases were unaware of it. Take up smoking; it feels a lot better and looks cooler than brushing your teeth.

ughhh !! - so this is how they end up - the slugs hanging by a metre of slime, with their sexual organs entwined in this strange embrace. I suppose that they were exchanging some intimate substance. They stayed like this for a while, and unfortunately I was called away for dinner. When I returned they were gone, having taken their bungee cord with them.



This news story cracked me up... In Olympia Washington a guy cover EVERYTHING in a buddies apartment in foil.. Well everything but a Penn & Teller book and the bed... He made it so that everything in the apartment was still useable and in the exact spot it was left before his friend left on a trip... Even the toilet paper, loose change and wallas were covered. The amazing thing is it only took about $100 in foil to do it all..

quick clicks
an exploding cat whatever next? here
not 100% sure what this is all about but the music is good


totty
why don't we have weather forecast like this in the UK (long clip but its worth it)
these aren't bad either fast n' 1 | fast n' 2 | fast n' 3 | fast n' 4 | fast n' 5 | fast n' 6 | fast n' 7 | fast n' 8 | fast n' 9 | fast n' 10 | fast n' 11 | fast n' 12 but this one is def the best
also found this gallery (NSFW) of babes in jeans which is class and napkin nights just gets better and better

games
get your timing right and it should be easy (only managed 13500 here)
egg-cellent fun, s'no yolk as the levels get harder and harder
nice little matching game here (I got rank of rear admiral with 15)

picture the scene, I have a meeting at Hammersmith for 9:45 this morning, waiting for the bus at bottom of road in pouring rain at 7:40 for the train station so I have plenty of time the bus arrives (recently reading buses introduced exact fare only) so i get my pound coin out and ask for the station.
"fares have gone up mate, its one pound twenty now" says mr grumpy the driver,
"oh I reply when did this happen?" I reply,
"today" is his reply pointing to the smallest sticker imaginable on the windscreen
"one pound will get you to the library" he says
"oh ok then" I reply
bus then gets going ...
speaking to 4-5 other people on the bus and noone knew about this increase of 20%, no advertising , no annoucemnet in local paper just this small sticker in the bus
bus then stops at library and turns to me and 2 others and says "you've got to get off here" and its pissing down with rain and I now have a 1.5 mile walk in the station
and they wonder why people take their cars rather than relying on public transport ... WANKERS (still made it to the meeting with 10 mins to spare though) ...

whilst rant mode is swithched on ...

So the record industry doesn't like us downloading tracks from the Net. But, it appears, they're not that fussed about us getting hold of records for adecent price, either. The body behind the British music industry, the BPI, is now investigating Amazon.com (not .co.uk) for selling cheap CDs to Brits and dispatching them across the pond. This could constitute what's called 'parallel importing.'

The BPI has already launched an action against CD-Wow, which imports CDs from the Far East and Play.com, which sells from Jersey. The BPI argues that sites such as CD-Wow don't have permission to sell to the UK. But since these CDs are official in everything except the way they're sold, what's their problem? We're buying the disc rather than downloading the tracks. It's just that we're paying about half the £16 most retailers sell them at. That's their problem.

to cheer things up found stuffmagazine.com who have some top totty




Slot car racing enthusiasts will soon be able to race against drivers anywhere in the world following a digital makeover for the popular Scalextric game. Hornby - makers of Scalextric and its popular range of model trains - is set to unveil a new system that should be in shops ready for Christmas this year. The "Scalextric Sport World System" employs hardware and software to let racers compete against each other by connecting their layouts to the Net via a PC.

can't afford to buy anything after all that Christmas spending? Why not knit yourself something...

Did you vote in the Top 100 poll last Summer for comedy sitcoms? See all the results here and find out more about the comedy gems that didn't quite make the final cut. Top 10 plus clips are listed here

"Tonight Matthew we're going to be Arwen and Aragorn" ......... Barbie and Ken



the missus disappeared upstairs with the legolas version 30 mins ago :(

Police believe teenage pranksters are hacking into the wireless frequency of a US Burger fast food joint drive-through speaker to tell potential customers they are too fat for fast food. Policeman Gerry Scherlink said the pranksters told one customer who had just placed an order: "You don't need a couple of Whoppers. You are too fat. Pull ahead."

The offenders are reportedly tapping into the wireless frequency at the restaurant in Troy, Michigan. Police believe the culprits are watching and broadcasting from close range. Officer Scherlinck said the men are telling customers who order a Coca-Cola that, "We don't have Coke." And when the customer asks what they do have, the hacker would say: "We don't have anything. Pull ahead."



But what has managers concerned is the profanity the hackers are using, according to police. A drive-through customer has told police if he had children with him in the car and someone used profanity, he would have been upset. Burger King franchise owner Tony Versace issued the following statement in response to the incidents: "We apologise to our customers who've been insulted by the use of this drive-through speaker."Management at the fast-food restaurant are reportedly trying to change the radio frequency used for the speakers, reports Local 4.

Oil Junkies: kick the oil habit and get one of these. It runs on Hydrogen, exhausts steam and refills use solar power and water

just for marc there is a predator for that fear you have

Pholph's Scrabble Generator My Scrabble© Score is: 23. What is your score? Get it here.

Are you looking to become eternalized on the internet, literally? Now here's your chance! Sign over your corpse to be monitored by a webcam 24/7 for the rest of eternity. (i do hope this is a joke otherwise ....)

repost: when icons go crazy

games
little bit of fst mouse action in this card game, get rid of your cards b4 computer opponent

Imagine pitching this: A beautiful giantess lady writhing on the floor in sexy underwear while sky-diving babies fall from the heavens to be enveloped in her enormous lady chest. If this is how video directors spend their days I want in.

Love it - Xylophone man is without a doubt one of the most bizarre yet famous musicians in Nottingham. After more than a decade on the streets he is instantly recognizable to a wide range of the public. More so than any local politician, member of the council and perhaps even the cities footballers. When I went to university (down south in Exeter) and nervously explained to the new people I met that I came from Nottingham I was usually greeted by a recognition of Robin Hood or "Is that up north?" The only other thing that (three different) people, who had visited the city on shopping trips remembered, was a peculiar man who busked with a Xylophone (badly) in the city centre.



He is undisputedly Nottingham's favourite busker and has been for the last decade. This is no mean feat in a city that also contains the Muddy Waters lookalike from near Broad marsh centre. Put bluntly, Xylophone man is not famous for his musical talent. Despite the fact he has recently broadened his range to the odd Christmas carol, his approach to his instrument is still much the same as would a child's be, had they just received the instrument for Christmas. This is probably why we love him ... full interview here

There's two types of men on this planet. Those who like big things and those who like small things. This guy likes small things. Building tiny helicopters to be exact. The best bit? They actually fly. Oh and the crappy dramatic music as he flies his creation around his living room like a tiny Airwolf ... lots more here

It's the New Year and everyone's fat, especially Weebl's friend Bob. Fantastic special effects in this episode and a great payoff.

"We have recovered the original IRC logs of the Bible!" spaketh PoofBird and Destrukto. "Written in Hebrew and Greek and thoroughly encrypted, we have not yet been able to decipher the complete texts, but we are close!" W00t, the herald angels sing.

Geeks! Bored of your iPods and wi-fi tentacle rape? The cool kids are wearing cash-in merchandise from 70s TV shows. Frankly, this collection of tat gives us sexual pangs we haven't felt since Janet Ellis presented Blue Peter.

very cool a panoramic view of times square on new years eve here

anybody make any resolutions ??

during 2004 I resolve ...

1. to start killing more animals for their fur in protest of PETA.
2. to finally get rid of my unibrow.
3. to turn my turds into fun little prizes.
4. to stop writing lists ... awww crap !!
5. to tattoo my head in exchange for a few hundred bucks.
6. to run spybot and ad-aware at least once a week to get rid of the crap on my pc
7. to make this site funnier, aw bugger that, its too much like hard work

picks from www.knobby.co.uk over 2003 ... nah can't be bothered some old stuff some new up to you whether you read it :)

quick clicks
messy and dressy was just plain weird
flea-toon - the most basic comic on the net
feb saw the start of the last series of cold feet :(
traffic light wars was one of the highlights as well
390,000 Jedis There Are - Seven people in every thousand in England and Wales gave their religion as 'Jedi' in the 2001 Census.
The meaning of the song "Old Lang Syne", you know, the New Year song.
Mmm… that feels good, *POP* mmm… again *POP* mmm… yeah, that's it *POP* *POP* *POP*! (NSFW)
I know what you are looking for when you click this link babesagainstbush.com
Since it simply collects the menstrual flow, it does not disturb the natural moisture level in the vagina.
Six plus equals one and no, that doesn't make any sense...
best april fool of last year has to be when Southampton announced they were changing their red & white striped shirts for Blue shirts (the big clue was in the kit suppliers Flair Polo, but they still fell for it) doesn't say a lot for the average intelligence of Strachans Blue & Blue army :)
the proof that the internet can make somebody world famous over night! No I'm not talking about Weebl & Bob or Paris Hilton ! I am talking about the now legendry Ghyslain the Star Wars Kid! The star of these videos has launched legal action against classmates who put a video of him online, saying that the publicity has left him mentally scared!!
a very honest and frank discussion about what happened and has happened since, also has appeared in MSNBC (and was interviewed by them, ironic or what?), metafilter, The Register and Slashdot
the same program (99 bottles of beer on the wall) in 598 different programming languages

totty
fantastic federica fontana
kracking kiera knightley
beautiful britney spears
lovely liv tyler
naughty natasha henstridge
supermodel forever and napkin nights also provided quite a few nice piccys

PC Games
If, prior to the release of The Phantom Menace, we had told you that the best Star Wars experience of the next five years would come in video game form, you'd have told us to go kiss a Rodian. Anticipation for the new movies was peaking, and Star Wars-based games were stinking up shelves. But Bioware pulled it off, and Knights of the Old Republic captured the mythology fans love from George Lucas's pet universe, wrapped it up in a great role-playing experience and delivered a total package

Films only two in this list for me :)
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers: Extended Edition - Once again, the Jackson Five-thousand have put together the definitive DVD experience, with an extended cut of the film plus behind-the-scenes of behind-the-scenes of...well, you get the picture. In fact, even documentaries you normally wouldn't jump on are cool. Heck, we spent an hour watching a documentary on armor. ARMOR! Is it the power of the One Ring, or is the Extended Edition set just that cool? We like to think the latter.



The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King - What more can we say about The Lord of the Rings that we haven't gushed about already? The Return of the King is not just a great end to an equally great story, but an impressive cinematic presentation that inspires as much as it awes. If not for Peter Jackson, and the more than capable WETA team, we would have written off computer generated imagery as one of the signs of the filmmaking apocalypse. Yet, due to Jackson's expert eye, we have a fantasy entertainment epic that is as beautiful as it is exciting, with battle sequences that draw us in as warriors versus watchers. If there's one clear winner when it comes to the best movies of the year, The Return of the King is it (and it had Liv Tyler in it)



music
Everybody went mad over the Beyonce Knowles Crazy In Luv video!
Personally although that had it's merits the vid from Benny Benassi asked as all if we could get some satisfaction and yes its the video with all the half naked girls with power tools in it :)
or there was tatu with that lesbian kiss on video

games
especially for bobby from afghanistan :) the copter game and the snowboarding game
the browser classic chasm is back go get a fix
remember micromachines ?? you'll like brekky racer then
rock rescue, bit different and quite hard
browser based counter-strikish sort of thingy :)
excellent golf game that reminded me of first PC golf game I ever had
catch springs with the arm before time runs up with Roobotik Use up and down arrow keys to rotate arm around current joint. Use left and right arrow keys to chang current joint. Bonuses with ? mark give you extra speed, extra points or extra time.

hi all www.knobby.co.uk will be down for a couple of hours today whilst moving to a new server, normal service resumed asap :)

all I can say is I am amazed ....

quick search on google reveals there actually is a Middle Earth Historical Reenactment Society and a House of Cardolan group that specializes in Tolkien re-enactment

metasyntactic variable (no I have never heard of these) a name used in examples and understood to stand for whatever thing is under discussion, or any random member of a class of things under discussion. The word foo is the canonical example. To avoid confusion, hackers never (well, hardly ever) use `foo' or other words like it as permanent names for anything. In filenames, a common convention is that any filename beginning with a metasyntactic-variable name is a scratch file that may be deleted at any time.
To some extent, the list of one's preferred metasyntactic variables is a cultural signature. They occur both in series (used for related groups of variables or objects) and as singletons. Here are a few common signatures

Of all these, only `foo' and `bar' are universal (and baz nearly so). The compounds foobar (not to be confused with boobahs of course) and `foobaz' also enjoy very wide currency. Some jargon terms are also used as metasyntactic names; barf and mumble, for example. See also Commonwealth Hackish for discussion of numerous metasyntactic variables found in Great Britain and the Commonwealth.

No I haven't got a clue either ... blame marc for all this :) sources include lysator.liu.se | jargon file