credit to eclectech.co.uk for image

To bore your mates with down the pub

When French telephone companies introduced itemised billing, it revealed so much marital infidelity that male customers won a legal appeal to replace the last four numbers on a bill with asterisks.

The first car-phone was invented by Mr.Ericsson, who put a big metal pole on top of his car, so he could make calls by driving into telephone wires.

The origin of the word 'taxing' to mean thieving came from the chavs. If a povvo steals a yuppie's mobile phone, then that is a tax on the rich. D'ye see?

These facts craftily cribbed from "A Brief History of the Mobile Phone"

Mr Otto presents the olympics

8008135 - soccer cheerleaders for your perusal

We can only speculate without insight what possesses a man to have all the band members, past and present, of Status Quo tattooed on his back. Is it love for the songs? Nostalgia for simpler times? Or simply mental illness? (I suspect the latter)

Sounds Broadband Users Never Hear (WTF?) Miss your modem?

Test your pop culture literacy by trying to guess which are the hoax photos (i.e. those that have been manipulated in some way) and which are real. For each image, click either HOAX or REAL to begin scoring the test. When you're done, click the box at the bottom of the page to see your score. ( I got 6/10 )

Sir Cliff Richard has been joined by Mr Blobby, the Teletubbies and Pop Idol's Will Young and Gareth Gates in the list of the worst ever No1s. The list was compiled by TV music channel VH1. Here is the top 20:

1 Cliff Richard - Millennium Prayer
2 Mr Blobby - Mr Blobby
3 Teletubbies - Teletubbies Say Eh-Oh!
4 Aqua - Barbie Girl
5 Eamon - F**k It (I Don't Want You Back)
6 Las Ketchup - The Ketchup Song (Asereje)
7 Blazin' Squad - Crossroads
8 Bob The Builder - Can We Fix It?
9 Frankee - F.U.R.B (F U Right Back)
10 Peter Andre - Mysterious Girl
11 Gareth Gates- Unchained Melody
12 Will Young and Gareth Gates - The Long And Winding Road/Suspicious Minds
13 Joe Dolce Music Theatre - Shaddap You Face'
14 DJ Otzi - Hey Baby
15 Afroman - Because I Got High
16 Will Young - Light My Fire
17 Mariah Carey & Westlife - Against All Odds
18 Bombalurina - Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
19 DJ Casper - Cha Cha Slide
20 Busted - Who's David

ROME (Reuters) - A retired Italian man could face up to a year and a half in prison if found guilty of killing his six pet hamsters and one guinea-pig by throwing them off his terrace into passing traffic.
The man, detained by police after the guinea-pig crashed into the windscreen of a car, told officials that he had accidentally knocked the animals off his terrace while sweeping, AGI news agency reported on Thursday.
Police in the northern coastal town of Imperia discovered the hamsters' bodies littered across the street after the motorist complained about the broken windscreen.
By studying the trajectory of the pets' bodies they were able to identify the pensioner's apartment. (wtf?)
Under a new cruelty to animals law, the man could be sent to jail for between three to 18 months for killing the pets. He will also be held responsible for the damage to the windscreen.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Everything Is Funnier With Monkeys. If J. Fred Muggs, Lancelot Link, or zoo-house fecal tossing have taught us anything, it is that every human endeavor is enriched by the addition of a screaming, leg-humping, ass-biting primate. Even, say, sex education. I beg your pardon? you might ask. Clearly you're not acquainted with the strangest children's book of the 19th century—Sammy Tubbs, the Boy Doctor, and Sponsie, the Troublesome Monkey (1874).

one way of making footy more interesting for some

Welcome to the Ultimate Guide to Shooting Rubber Bands! I take no responsibility whatsoever if, while you are trying out these experiments, some poor, unsuspecting person or animal walks by and gets one in the kisser.

cracking beer commercial, hopefully this will be me next week :)

How to win gold at the Olympics, worth watching all the way through

EarthCam has links to live webcams all over the world. This particular link points to Times Square, but there are many more if you're interested in watching traffic all around the world.

We believe it is possible to use people’s need for sexuality as a way to raise money for nature. And create interest for preserving our forests. It is time to pay respect, and give something back. F**k for forest, and give the profit to the earths threatened nature...

like there was going to ever be any doubt IPOD vs. Cassette

I'll be kind and start you guys off with an easy score to beat of 662... I'll be back when there are some challengers.

very addictive browser game here, bubble trouble


spice up your life in the kitchen by clicking the picture above

You read between 350 - 400 words per minute. Well above average reading level. (The average rate is between 200 - 250 words per minute.) It is assumed that you did not skim the words nor fail to understand the meaning of what was read.

Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg.

THE PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer
In waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,
But the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

Never mind surviving relegation from the Premiership, Crystal Palace are having trouble spelling their own name. The Eagles find themselves rooted to the bottom of the literacy league after selling official shirts with the club's name shown incorrectly.
The blue and red striped tops bear the legend 'Chrystal Palace' under one of the crests, an error repeated on blue and white away shirts and grey goalkeeping tops.
And there's us thinking you were supposed to DROP your aitches in south London and its not even 1st of April.

Choose Chav
Choose wearing your collar turned up high. Choose balancing your cap on the very top of your head. Choose hoodies. Choose wearing every piece of jewellery you have at all times, making sure as much as possible is visible by hanging your cheap chains on the outside of your t-shirts. Choose buying your clothes from a man on the estate. Choose talking with Jamaican or American accent depending on your taste. Choose smoking cheap weed on street corners. Choose to swing your arms when you walk in an effort to make yourself look bigger. Choose stealing cider from the local shop. Choose to tuck your jogging bottoms in to your socks or rolling one leg up. Choose buying the exact same things as everyone else in your group. Choose social disorder. Choose benefit fraud. Choose believing that knowing all the words to the latest Eminem album is better than knowing the alphabet. Choose dirty looks and losing fights in pubs. Choose visiting cash converter’s twice a week. Choose fake or stolen designer clothing (or by the time it gets to your estate stolen fakes).

Choose Goth
Choose wearing black clothing. Choose hanging chains from your pockets. Choose burning candles while writing down how much the world hates you and you hate it. Choose listening to dark music with virtually no understandable words. Choose painting your lips and nails black. Choose avoiding the sun. Choose sitting in a darkened room, walking around with your head down and sighing at every given opportunity. Choose smoking Marlboro Reds, while wearing pants that have the legs strapped together by tethers. Choose crying in your closet where nobody can see you because you think nobody understands you. Choose listening to the most out dated music you can find and believing that people don’t like it because its too hardcore for them, not because its utter shit!

Choose Geek
Choose dungeons and dragons and star trek. Choose IRC. ÇHöö§Ë måkîñg üþ ¥öü® öwñ üßË® |ËËt Hå×ö® §þËËk. Choose comic books, mint limited editions. Choose a MAC. Choose Linux. Choose UNIX. Choose any nix. Choose Warcraft 1. Choose asthma. Choose random spouts of hyperactivity 0MFUG!1!! L0L!!!!1111!1shift111!!one11!!!! Choose pwning your foe. Choose watching Star Wars movies in you parents house until your 50. Choose chronic masturbation. Choose being really anal about the slightest detail in the most pointless of subjects.

Notes: Of course these are just high exaggerated stereo types, but we all know what they are. For are US viewers a chav I guess is a cross between trailer park trash and wiggers. Goths can come in many forms some more extreme then others, but all from the same bloodline. Geeks…. Err we all know what a geek is!

fantastic prose from anothersite.co.uk

The World's Most Dangerous Animals
In the spirit of the Barefoot Bushman and "Killer Instinct," we thought we would share with you what are widely regarded as the ten most dangerous animals in the world. Most aren't a threat to you in your living room, but if you travel abroad, keep your eyes peeled... and your running shoes handy.

10. Polar Bear - What makes polar bears so dangerous is that they're so cute. We've all seen the pictures of them lounging or sleeping, and we can't help a little "Awwww." But these are the baddest predators on earth: in males, over 2,000 pounds of speed, smarts and incredible strength. In the great north winter, when food is scarce, they'll kill and eat a human.

9. Elephant - Again, another animal whose familiarity has caused us to forget about its power. While elephants are intelligent and social and usually very gentle, they are also fiercely protective. A mistreated or threatened elephant can kill a human with almost no effort, not even aware it's doing any harm.

8. Cape Buffalo - African game hunters consider the cape the most dangerous animal in Africa, for one reason: it's got a nasty temper. The cape will charge humans out of pure malice, and its horns will inflict terrible wounds. When wounded, the cape buffalo will pursue its hunter until one of them is dead.

7. Lion - Another beast made less scary by familiarity, but not to be trifled with. They may appear lazy, but a lion (or more commonly, the lioness, who is the hunter of the pride) can choose to rush and attack in seconds, completely unseen.

6. Great White Shark - Now this is one creature we all fear, thanks largely to the movie, "Jaws." The great white tends to haunt the colder waters off the coasts of California, South Africa and Australia, but its shadow casts fear over all beaches. An eating machine weighing up to 5,000 lbs., the great white can smell blood in the water for miles, and is the ocean's top predator.

5. Box Jellyfish - Jellyfish are the Yugos of the animal kingdom: brainless, floppy masses of ooze and tentacles. But the box jellyfish packs a wallop; it's the world's most venomous sea creature. Hanging out off the coast of Queensland, Australia, it packs almost certain death in every sting. If you just brush the tentacles, you might escape with agonizing pain.

4. Saltwater Crocodile - Australians can be cavalier about dangerous animals, but this is one that even freaks them out. A direct descendant of the dinosaurs, estuarine crocs are fast, stealthy and powerful, often growing to over 15 feet long. They can lie unseen in waters until they strike at their prey, dragging it under to drown and devour it.

3. Killer Bees - Africanized bees aren't killers, of course. But what they are is highly aggressive, very quick to swarm and sting when angered. They can be drawn to a human by the sound of a lawn trimmer or blower, and have been known to chase people for a quarter-mile and keep attacking for up to 10 hours.

2. Funnel Web Spider - Most spiders are harmless, but Australia's funnel web (and isn't it interesting how many of these baddies hail from Down Under?) is the world's most lethal. Ranging from a half-inch to two inches long, they have huge fangs that can bite though a fingernail, and are very aggressive.


1. Indian Cobra - The cobra is not the world's most venomous snake (that honor goes to the inland taipan of Australia, of course), but it tends to be found in great numbers in India and Sri Lanka, home to more than a billion people. Over 50,000 of them die each year from the cobra's bite.

You don't have to hide in your house for fear of the creatures on this list. Just have greater respect for the wonderful, lethal animals to be found around the world.

IMHO Tigers are harder than Lions as expected. Tigers grow far bigger, up to a metre, and can weigh a good 100 kilos more than a lion. In the only reported tear up between a lion and a tiger, when they tried to mate the two and create a Liger (I personally think 'Tigon' would be a better name) the Tiger kicked fack out of the Lion !!! THESE are the real important issues of the day and the answers we really need to know, not bollocks about who the England manager has been hanging out the back of !! Super Nancy Fragile Lipstick FA Palliosis