PC has had a bit of a wobbly over the weekend and now refuses to boot up, have tried the recovery disk and safe mode but no joy so far ... watch this space :(

thanks to recovery disk all ok now although have lost all saved games, at least I am back

GIRL'S DIARY - Sunday 11th May 2003.

Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I went shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so I thought it might be that. The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat. All through dinner he just didn't seem himself. He hardly laughed, and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in. He hesitated, but followed. I asked him again if there was something the matter but he just half shook his head and turned the television on. After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh, and a sad sort of smile. He didn't follow me up, but later he did, and I was surprised when we made love. He still seemed distant and a bit cold and I started to think he was going to leave me, and that he had found someone else. I cried myself to sleep.

BLOKES DIARY - Sunday 11th May 2003

My football team was relegated today. Gutted. Got a shag though.

Bought this last week and very impressed so far, be warned it is not a FPS game definitely an RPG and will scare the crap out of you.
For those of you who don't know the Vampire: the Masquerade universe, you play a vampire of one of 13 clans (seven of which are playable in the game). Each clan has a particular niche that they fill (Tremere are blood magicians, Ventrue are leaders and politicians, Brujah are the brute squad, etc), these are generalizations, but that's the basics. The vampires live in the modern world fighting secret wars amongst themselves and their own inner demons.
Starting a new game let's you pick your clan (you also have the option of answering questions to make a character for you that suits you based on your answers but I didn't choose this route). The playable clans are all from the Camarilla sect (that would be Brujah, Gangrel, Malkavian, Nosferatu, Torreador, Tremere and Ventrue). The appearance of your vampire is pretty limited, it appears each clan only has two models (male and female), but the models are very well done. The two Nosferatu models are appropriately hideous, the Malkavians are strange, and the Ventrue appear refined. For this game I chose a male Gangrel, whom I ended up naming Knobby.
After this we get to choose skills and attributes and disciplines. You start with a dot in each attribute AND your clan disciplines. The amount of points you can spend in your attributes and skills seem to based on clan. Vince, for example, could invest no points into his Social attributes, but had two or three to spend in Physical and one point to spend in Mental. The game provides a nice little chart to the side of the character sheet so that you can see what buying the various skills and attributes will affect. For example purchasing Strength will bump up your fighting unarmed up to two (you start with one because you have one in strength to begin with) and if you purchase brawl then it will go up to three. You also get one point so you can raise one of your disciplines up to the second level.
Ok so once your character is made you get a little intro, and then what amounts to a tutorial. The game takes you step by step. Once you complete a tutorial type section, you get to go to one of the four main hubs in the game all of which are in Los Angeles (Santa Monica in this case). You're given some cash, and note to contact someone, after that the game lets you wander about in a pretty open environment. I accumulated several side quests quickly, some fairly straight forward ("Get Mercurio some pain medicine") to a bit more open in what you're supposed to do ("Investigate the thin bloods"). Speaking of open, the game supports various game play styles. You can burst into a house and clean out everyone inside or you can find a broken panel in a fence and sneak around the back and turn off the power to sneak inside. One of the loading screens states that you can get bonus experience points for finding alternate solutions, so I think that means that stealthy types will probably benefit more then those who choose the "direct" approach.
The Graphics are beautiful, though there seems to be cuts in cinematic scenes where the game engine wouldn't properly display what they are trying to convey (for example, someone runs into room with a stake, makes a throwing motion and then cuts to vampire with a stake already implanted in their chest). This is understandable, but showing it the way they do highlights chinks in the Source engine's otherwise very solid armor.

1. The garden of Eden was in Iraq.
2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of civilization!
3. Noah built the ark in Iraq.
4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq.
5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq!
6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq.
7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq.
8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq.
9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel.
10. Amos cried out in Iraq!
11. Babylon, which is in Iraq, destroyed Jerusalem.
12. Daniel was in the lion's den in Iraq!
13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (Jesus had been in Iraq also as the fourth person in the fiery furnace!)
14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing on the wall" in Iraq.
15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq.
16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq.
17. The wise men were from Iraq.
18. Peter preached in Iraq.
19. The "Empire of Man" described in Revelation is called Babylon,which was a city in Iraq!

And you have probably seen this one. Israel is the nation most often mentioned in the Bible. But do you know which nation is second? It is Iraq!
However, that is not the name that is used in the Bible. The names used in the Bible are Babylon, Land of Shinar, and Mesopotamia. The word Mesopotamia means between the two rivers, more exactly between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. The name Iraq, means country with deep roots.
Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country in the Bible. No other nation, except Israel, has more history and prophecy associated it than Iraq.

And also... This is something to think about! Since America is typically represented by an eagle. Saddam should have read up on his Muslim passages...

The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible)

Koran (9:11) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.

Note the verse number!) Hmmmmmmm?! ---

A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job.
The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered "Yeah, I was a salesman back home." The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked:
"OK, so how many sales did you make today?"
The Aussie said "One."
The manager groaned and continued "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"
"£101,237.64"
The manager choked and exclaimed £101,237.64? What the hell did you sell him?" "Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4 x 4 Suzuki".
The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?"
"No no no......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his Missus and I said... 'Well, since your weekend's fucked, you might as well go fishing."

ASSA COMMONS - Our Parliament Building.
ART ATTACK - Extremely perturbed, as in "Don't tell Sharon, She'll have an art attack."
ARST - Past tense of ask. "Jordan, I must've arst ya free fazzund times to clear up yer room."
BANNSA - A person employed to deny access or eject troublemakers at a club. "Dave's got izself a job as a bannsa."
BANTY - A chocolate and coconut snack bar.
BAVE - To wash oneself.
BOAF - The two. "Oi Dave, ooja fancy most, Sharon or Tracy?" "Boaf" is the reply.
BRANSATCH - Motor racing circuit in Kent.
CANCEL - Administrative body of a town. "Darren, wive ad annuvva letter from the cancel."
CANTAFIT - Fake, as in money.
CHOONA - An edible fish purchased in a tin and usually prepared with mayonnaise.
CORT A PANDA - A big hamburger (smaller than an arf panda)
DAN TO URF - Sensible, practical.
DANNING STREET - Where the Prime Minister lives.
DANSTEZ - On the ground floor , where the biggest telly is.
DREKKUN - Do you consider? as in "Which dog drekkun'll win the next race?"
EFTY - Considerable. "Ere, Trace, this credit card bill's a bit efty."
EJOG - A small, spiky animal.
ERZ - Belonging to her.
EVVY - A big geezer who protects a smaller and more intelligent geezer, usually for money. "My name's Frank and this is my evvy, Knuckles."
EYEBROW - Cultured, intellectual.
FANTIN - A jet of water for drinking or ornament.
FARVA - A posh way of saying Dad.
FATCHA - Margaret, British Prime Minister 1979 on.
FINGY - A person or object whose name doesn't come to mind. "I ad it off wiv fingy last night."
FONG - Skimpy undergarment.
FOR CRYIN AT LAD - Mild expletive showing annoyance or surprise. "For cryin at lad, Britney, if I say Yes will you give it a rest?"
GAWON - Go on. "Gawon Darren, eat ya granny's cabbage, it'll do yer good."
GRAND - A football stadium. "It all wennoff atside the pub near the grand."
HAITCH - Letter of the alphabet between G and I.
IBEEFA - The Spanish holiday island.
IFFY - Dubious. "Ere, Trace, I fink this bread pudding you made last munf's a bit iffy."
INT - Indirect suggestion. " I gave Darren a sort of int that it was time to wash iz feet."
IPS - An unknown area of a woman's body to which chocolate travels. "That Mars Bar will go straight to me ips."
JA - Do you, did you. "Ja like me new airdo, Sharon."
JAFTA - Is it really necessary? "Oi mate, jafta keep doing that?"
KAF - Eating house open during the day.
KAFFY - A girl's name.
LAD - Noisy. "Jordan, turn that music dan, it's too lad."
LEVVA - Material made from the skin of an animal.
LOTREE - Costs one pound for a ticket.
MA BLARCH - An arch near Hyde Park.
MAFFS - The study of numbers.
MANOR - Local area.
NARRA - Lacking breadth, with little margin. "Mum wannid to come rand but changed er mind. That was a narra escape."
NARTAMEAN - Do you know what I mean? (sometimes used as janartamean).
NEEVA - Not one nor the other.
OAF - A solemn declaration of truth or committment.
OLLADAY - Time taken away from home for rest and adventure.
ONNIST - Fair and just, without a lie. "I never did it, onnist."
OPPIT - Go away , as in "Oi you, oppit."
PADDA PUFF - Soft, lacking aggression. "They're alright up front but they got a padda puff defence."
PACIFIC - Specific.
PAFFUL - Having much power or strength.
PAIPA - Sun, Mirror etc.
PANS AN ANNSIS - Imperial weight system.
PLAMMANS - A pub lunch usually made up of cheese and bread.
QUALIDEE - Good, as in "West Am's new striker's qualidee."
RAND - A number of drinks purchased for a group.
RANDEER - Locally. "There ain't much call for it randeer."
REBAND - Period of recovery after rejection by a lover. "I couldn't 'elp it. I was on the reband from Craig."
ROOFLESS - Without compassion.
SAFF - A direction of the compass, opposite north.
SAFFEND - An Essex seaside town.
SAWTED - Done, arranged, resolved.
SEEVIN - Very angry. "I woz seevin when I urd wot 'e sed."
TALENT - Attractive members of the opposite sex. "Dave's gan dan tan to eye up the talent."
TAN ASS - A modern terraced house.
TOP EVVY - A woman of plentiful bosom. "Ere look at that, Darren, she's well top evvy."
UMP - Upset, as in Got the Ump.
VACHER - A document which can be exchanged for goods or services. "I got a vacher to get in cheap at Forp Park."
WANNED UP - Tense. "I'm all wanned up at the moment."
WENNOFF - A fight commenced as in "It all wennoff".
YAFTA - You must : "Even if yer guilty, yafta av mitigating circumstances."
YOOF OSTALL - A place where holidaymakers can stay the night.
ZAGGERATE - To suggest something is better or bigger than is true. "I must've told ya a fazzund times already." "Don't zaggerate, mum."

An overview of some of the new details and claims revealed on Friday by the London team in their 600-page candidate file about their bid to host the 2012 Olympics.
Ticketing - There will be 9.6 million tickets for sale - 8 million for the Olympics and 1.6 million for the Paralympics. Organisers say 75% of all tickets will cost less than £50 and offer free travel on London transport. A sell-out rate of 82% for the Olympic Games and 63% for the Paralympics is estimated. Tickets for the athletics will start at £15 and there will be 20,000 £10 tickets for the Olympic Park to watch events on big screens.
Olympic Village - The village will have 17,320 beds and provide each athlete with 16 square metres floor space. Each apartment will have a TV, internet access, a private courtyard. The dining hall will cater for 5,500 athletes at a time.
Legacy - The Olympic Village Polyclinic will be converted into a lifelong learning centre for the east London community, with a nursery, primary and secondary schools. The village will be converted into 3,600 apartments, most of them will be affordable housing. The media and press centre would become a creative industries centre for east London. After the Games four arenas would be 'deconstructed' and relocated to other parts of the UK along with the swimming pools that are used for water polo and the 50m training pools. Charities will be given the sports equipment used in the Games for free.
Political commitment - A Cabinet-level minister would be responsible for delivering the Games. Government will create an Olympic Delivery Authority to ensure delivery of Olympic infrastructure and new venues. There will also be a Cabinet-level Olympic Security Committee to co-ordinate all security planning.
Transport - 80% of athletes would be within 20 minutes of their events and 97% of athletes within 30 minutes of their events. 93% of training venues are to be within 30 minutes of the athletes village. The aim is for 90% of venues to be served by three or more forms of public transport. There will be two major park and ride sites off the M25 with a combined capacity of 12,000 cars, within 25 minutes of the Olympic Park. There are 9,000 planned park and ride spaces to be made available at Ebbsfleet where spectators can board a 10-minute shuttle service to the Olympic Park. This is the same station where continental spectators travelling by Eurostar will join the shuttle to the Olympic Park. It is predicted that on event days 78% of spectators are likely to travel from within London and 22% from the rest of the UK and Europe. Organisers estimate 80% of visitors and staff of the Games will use rail services to reach the Olympic Park. Low or no-emission vehicles will be used to transport Olympic athletes and officials.
Other aspects - A tri-generation plant will supply electricity, heat and chilled water to the Olympic Park using technology which produces 33% lower CO2 emissions than from the electricity grid. By 2012 it is estimated that over 135,000 hotel rooms will be available within 50km of the Olympic Park, up from 120,000 presently. According to London 2012, for the first-time in any Games live Olympic backdrop presentation facilities will be available to broadcast rights holders via rooftop studios on the main press centre with a direct view of the Olympic Stadium and Park.

Dubbin is not shoe polish. The latter has no function but to render a garish and hazardous shine to leather; dubbin, meanwhile, is so versatile as to appear omnipotent to all but the least dim. Dubbin is a suitable replacement for most types of friend. Dubbin is illegal in Wales, for very good reasons.
Dubbin was discovered by William Shakespeare in 1288, whilst holidaying near a chimney in Slough. He and his brother Pippa were chasing a Flemish otter-bird around a cloth booth when the bird unexpectedly laid an egg. Thinking it to be a holy relic, the Shakespeare brothers accidentally boiled the egg in tepid vinegar and mashed it with a pewter dolphin ornament, the exact combination of treatments required to produce tiny amounts of proto-dubbin, which is a fungus. more here

5 of the best looking women in the world in the same place, please please let me be there next time

also in mammory of a vintage year: 2003's greatest movie nude scenes.

all from FHM bigeye on the web

my work is struggling a bit, figures are nowhere near what they should be, few clients causing me major headaches, daughter doing her best to wind me up as well... arghhhhh ! (that's better), some linkage that has made me laugh ...

A man goes into a repair shop to get his watch fixed. But when he sees that the girl running the store is extremely hot, he unzips his pants and lays his johnson on the counter.
Sir, what are you doing? This is a clock shop! the shocked girl shouts.
I know, he replies. I'd like to get a pair of hands and a face put on this.

Somethingawful.com have come up with greatest moments in railroad history

Talk-show superstar Oprah Winfrey celebrated losing her 20,000th pound in a star-packed gala at the Sutton Place Hotel in Chicago's Gold Coast Monday night. "Tonight is an amazing personal milestone," Winfrey said. "I want everyone who has supported me through the years—my friends, my loved ones, and all of my wonderful fans—to share the joy I feel tonight in having shed my 20,000th pound." According to her spokesman, Winfrey has been on 674 diets, embarked on 255 fitness routines, and weighed herself 4,349,571 times during her 30-year career in broadcasting and film.

chatroom pwnage comes to mobiles

cracking webcomic alien loves predator

It's fair to say that the battle-hardened hacks at El Reg are not easily shocked or offended. Nevertheless, we feel that we must express our dismay at a Vodfone Live! advert which appeared in some of today's UK national papers.
On the surface, it seems plausible enough - a free video messaging phone with all the usual gratis bits and bobs. However, it's not entirely clear what message Vodafone was intending to convey with the rather startling image accompanying the ad. By the shocked look on the poor girl's face, she has inadvertently picked an inopportune moment to wander onto the set of some hideous Swedish smut production, and has paid the price.
If Voda was intending to create a bit of pre-Xmas mobile excitement with the snap, then we reckon it's missed a trick. After all, the full strapline should clearly read: "Free video messaging phone: because Santa comes just once a year".

found on the register

All those crash and personal injury videos you have seen before — all on one site

Resistance is futile when it comes to relishing the eclectic sound of Warp 11, a high-spirited rock group dedicated to singing the many praises of Star Trek. Whether belting out '7 of Mine,' 'Sto Vo Kor' or 'Suds Me Up, Sulu,' each of the act's 16 tunes goes where no song has gone before, inventively intertwining punk, folk and blues riffs with appropriately warped lyrics

Type in commands like: kiss, banana, pillow fight, fight, kick, sleep, jiggle, naked, tattoo, topless, jump, pour beer, drink beer, sing, stretch, dance, lick, hummer, wave, tickle, hat, strip, breast, dance on bar, be a pimp, magic, karate, robot, shoes, show me something, spin, read, write, hair, belly, gymnastics, fire, spread, pitcher, kiss me, hand stand, arms, phone number, I love you and laugh.

The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation was created in 1982 by a small group that originally came together as a an informal support group for problems that were the result of traumatic experiences at petting zoos as children. This group realized that there were many others out there who were afraid to come forward with their horrific stories and wanted to find some way to help as many people as they could. The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation is the result of their dream.

the supa cool transforming and funking citreon c4

Roll call of violence
Humpty Dumpty: Nasty head injuries from fall
Jack and Jill: Double hillside fall tragedy
Simple Simon: Tongue and finger injuries. Thrown to the ground by a cow
Six in a Bed: Repeated bedtime tumbles
Rock-A-Bye Baby: Cradle crashes to the ground from a great height

Nursery rhymes expose children to far more violent incidents than an average evening watching TV, researchers say. A Bristol Royal Hospital for Children team found the frequency of nursery rhyme violence was more than 10 times greater than in pre-9pm programmes.
The tongue-in-cheek study examined 25 popular rhymes, Archives of Disease in Childhood reported. Examples of violent incidents included Humpty Dumpty being hurt in a fall and Jack and Jill tumbling down a hillside.
The researchers admit their study was not entirely serious - but they say it does make the point that blaming television for increasing levels of violence is too simplistic. The researchers gathered data from TV regulator Ofcom on depictions of violence over a two-week period in 2001, in the viewing period between 5.30pm and 9pm. more here

You Know You're Addicted to Alias When...

You believe wearing a colorful wig and tight clothing can help you get away with anything. You check the sides of old book pages for Russian characters. Every time you see a black Mercedes, it reminds you of Sark. You notice every Ford Focus on the road. You use the phrase "There are just so many problems with this..." at every possible opportunity. You have suspicions that your spouse may actually be a double. Your non- Alias obsessed friends (like you have any of those left! Hah!) refuse to talk to you about Italians, prophecies, pickles, wigs, parent/daughter relationships, spies or anything else that might lead to a discussion about Alias. You actually BUY a blue Ford Focus. (With gold rims, of course) You wonder if Sark actually could be Irina's son. You develop opinions and theories about this and other unanswered facets of the show, and spend a large amount of time formulating arguments for both sides of the debate... The main question you ask yourself shopping is "Would Sydney /Vaughan wear something like this?" You have seen every episode. Ever. More than 5 times a piece. You went to see Daredevil just for Jennifer Garner. The mention of weddings, rings, or two years just gets you incredibly ticked off. After getting a bad grade on a paper you tell your friend about your professor saying "legally he's right, ethically he's an ass." If the topic of TV shows comes up, you automatically ask the person "Do you watch Alias?" and if they say they've never heard of it... you immediately end the conversation. You hear the songs played in the show.. and you instinctively listen for the lines of the characters.. and know precisely when their lines occurred in the song. Your history teacher mentions something about the KGB.. and you suddenly think "Irina?" You have a codename that people actually call you by. You think having no first name is a perfectly acceptable thing. Old Asian men in wheelchairs creep you out. You will never view epoxy in the same way again. You find yourself trying to find good, compelling reasons to sway your significant other that your next child/pet should be named "Irina" or "Sydney." You feel aggravated and insulted when you watch the episode of "Frasier" where Victor Garber plays Dr. Crane's British butler. ("Years of agent training and experience, wasted...") You find yourself criticizing the REAL CIA based solely on your knowledge of Alias. You think Jerry Springer's guests have boring, uncomplicated family/friend relationships and easy, simple-to-fix personal problems. You become incredibly irritated when people say, "That girl Sydney, doesn't she really report to someone else?" and can tell them exactly how many episodes behind the times they are. You begin fantasizing about planting listening devices on your significant other's work clothes, just to see if you can find anything exciting/spy-worthy. You know what J/I, S/V, S/W, Sarkney, Slark, slash, and shipper are, and have opinions on all of them. Every time you hear the Nokia ringtone, you get excited even though there's no way it could be Sydney. You look for air vents you could crawl into incase of an emergency. When you begin to doze off in history class and only snap back to attention when the teacher uses the words "Alliance" or "Covenant." You record every episode, then go out and buy the DVDs as well. You dream about Irina Derevko at least once a week. Sweiss does not sound like a candy bar to you You assume that anyone who wears dark eyeliner is evil. You meet a nice person and immediately become suspicious of their motives. You constantly try to figure out ways to get Jack and Irina back together. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Alias.

You Know You're From Britain When...

You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable. You're always a half an hour late to work ... no-one notices or cares. Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week. You can actually give directions to some of those annoying tourists in Oxford Street! You step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them. You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast. You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub. You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes. You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Aussie international telephone operator (or on TV!). You think £40 for a haircut is quite reasonable. You can't remember what 'customer service' means. After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive. You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'. You only just realise you have lost your sunnies, you left them in Greece 2 summers ago. You like English cuisine. I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast. You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat... this year You've bought a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco. A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head. You always call soccer football and you have a team and it's not Manchester United. You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich. A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear You've accepted queuing as a way of life. You believe that every American is a fatass addicted to hamburgers and hotdogs. You despise the French (but then, who doesn't?). You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Britan.

THE WORLD has come crashing down around Half-Life 2 players today, as Steam's authentication servers in Europe have died reported the inquirer. Players who have rushed out to buy the game today and have tried to activate this afternoon have been greeted with the message, below, that they cannot complete the authentication process and so can't play the game. Many of the gamers that we spoke to were outraged. One told us that he "... Waited ****ing years for this game to come out and now can't play it? I've got the damn discs in my hands! It's outrageous! I want it now!" Similarly strong-worded conversations were had with other gamers.
A technical support engineer at Vivendi said that it could be three hours or longer before the servers are fixed and games can be played.
Early birds up this morning activated the game at 8am with no problem. If this subsequent monumental crash is anything to go by, however, we can only expect all hell to break lose when the USA comes online in force.
Retail players are being made to activate their copies of Half-Life 2 online with Valve's servers to prevent piracy and leakage. You can see the message of doom above.

I'm sure this has some deep and dark meaning, but there again ...


You are the Minister of Silly Walks


What Monty Python Sketch Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



You are a French Guard! You love nothing better
than to torment the silly English
Knnnniggits...even if your insults don't make
much sense--You tiny brained wiper of other
people's bottoms!


Which Monty Python & the Holy Grail Character are you REALLY?
brought to you by Quizilla

what a cracking web site containing stories like this:

New 12 Blade Razor ‘Bloody Lethal’
The introduction of the latest generation of high tech razor blades has caused 13 to die and blood banks to empty around the country. After 15 years in worldwide development and 9 billion dollars in development costs, the newest wet shave solution was launched last Wednesday. Hundreds of television adverts have been used to promote the product, each one containing images of jet fighters, beautiful women, cute kids, fast cars, great houses and nice in-laws. more here ...

Count Dracula, leader of the opposition has replaced his shadow arts minister with another entertainer. With Fleet Street awash with rumours over his private life, the Count had no choice but to replace his bumbling, lovable member of the front bench, Boris Johnson. Dracula denied claims that the reason Boris was sacked that with all the coverage people would begin to recognise Boris more than himself. The choice of Bruce Forsyth as a replacement is widely seen to be an inspired choice, keeping the high profile that a TV game show presenter brings the party. More here ...

Three guys and a woman are stuck in an lift. While they are stuck they strike up a conversation.
The first guy says, "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E you know....Young, urban, professional, peacefull, intelligent, ecologist."
The second guy says, "I'm a D.I.N.K.Y, you know...Double Income, No kids, Yet!"
The third guy says. "I'm a R.U.B, you know....Rich, Urban , Biker."
They turn to the woman and ask her, "What are you?"
She replies: "I'm a W.I.F.E., you know....Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.."

The BT Speaking Clock has also been known as TIM (the three-letter code, short for TIMe, that users dialled in the days of alphabetical dials!). The BT Speaking Clock has been ticking 24-hours a day, seven days a week since 24th July 1936 – which is 67 years, more than 24,000 days, more than 586,000 hours or 35 million minutes!
Originally the accuracy of the BT Speaking Clock was one-tenth of a second, it is now correct to within five thousandths of a second!
There have only ever been three voices for the BT Speaking Clock, apart from a two week period in March 2003 when Lenny Henry did a special version of the Speaking Clock in aid of Comic Relief :

A London telephonist, Jane Cain was the first voice in 1936 and lasted until 1963.

Miss Pat Simmons, a supervisor in a London telephone exchange became the second voice from 1963 until 1984.

The present voice, belongs to Brian Cobby (73) who was an assistant supervisor at Withdean exchange in Brighton. He became the first male voice at 11 am on 2nd April 1985. Brian Cobby, an actor by profession before he joined BT, was selected from 12 finalists in BT’s Golden Voice competition, on 5th December 1984. Before Brian Cobby worked for BT, he recorded the “5-4-3-2-1… Thunderbirds are go!” for the theme tune to Gerry Anderson’s TV series! Brian Cobby has received fan mail from ‘mature ladies’ who say they listen to him late at night when they can’t sleep!

The longest distance call to the Speaking Clock is from a factory in Hong Kong, which makes handsets for the VideoPlus VCR programming system. The in-built clock is set to British time, courtesy of BT's Speaking Clock service.
The timing of most television programmes is synchronised to the BT Speaking Clock as well, so when your local station goes over to ITN for the News at Ten, this is done "at the third stroke".
The world’s most famous clock, Big Ben, checks its time with the BT Speaking Clock and many major organisations have permanent feeds of the clock from BT into their private internal phone systems so employees can check the time without making an outside call.
The 1936 Speaking Clock was an of array of motors, glass discs, photocells and valves and took up the floorspace of a small room! The current Speaking Clock, with a built-in crystal oscillator and microprocessor logic control, the complete apparatus is made of solid-state microchips and occupies no more shelf space than a small suitcase does – and has no moving parts at all.
Describing the BT Speaking Clock as a National Institution is probably fair, since as a nation we seem to be remarkably keen on ringing up. Even in its first year, 1936, the service registered nearly 13 million calls and it was not a nationwide service then - that came six years later. Today we make around 100 million calls a year and that's a lot of watches being checked.
The original Speaking Clock message was recorded and replayed rather like the optical sound track of a film and the equipment represented the state of the art of current technology in those days. This lasted until 1963, when it was replaced by more modern recording technology, using a magnetic drum. It gave way to the present digital system in 1984 and this has no moving parts at all.
The unquestioned accuracy of the Speaking Clock has also led to the association of Accurist Watches, who since 1986 have sponsored the BT Speaking Clock announcements. With those 100 million calls a year, this may well be the most frequently heard advertising message of all time.
But what did people do before the speaking clock was invented if they wanted a time check? Simple: they rang the operator and asked her the time by the exchange clock on the wall, but this was not precise to the second, nor could the exchange always answer just when the customer wanted. The first genuine speaking clock machine was introduced in the USA in 1927, coming to Paris in 1933, The Hague in 1934 and Switzerland in 1935. But automatic time service (of a Heath-Robinson kind) had been available to telephone users in San Francisco since the late 19th century; by listening for to an observatory clock at least a minute and decoding clicks and single and double buzzes against some detailed instructions you could set a pocket watch-but it helped if you already knew more or less what the time was! A proper speaking clock is far less trouble!

Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on cleric Abu Hamsa?

'ONE pound a week will supply water for an entire village in Tanzania', says Oxfam. So how come the Water Utilities charge me twenty pounds a month for my three bedroom semi? The fleecing b@stards.

I was shocked to hear Home Secretary David Blunkett say that Britain's prison population has been ballooning for the past ten years. My God, has the world gone mad? Those people are there to be punished, not to be given 'thrill of a lifetime' experiences that most law abiding citizens can only dream of.

again supplied by John Cullane @ work

like the look of this, would certainly encourage me to play

from John Cullane @ work

A man, his wife, and mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why? Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and spend only $150.00?" The man said, "A man died here 2000 years ago, he was buried here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
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No. 2
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: "Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit.
The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate." The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg, so he writes a letter of complaint.
A week passes and he receives another parcel and note: "Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your woode n leg and with your bald head you will really look the part." The man is really furious now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really rude letter of complaint. A few days later he gets very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter:
"Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. Pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a fucking toffee apple."

The YKK on your zips stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zip manufacturer.

A notch carved in a growing tree remains the same distance from the ground as the tree grows taller.

What makes thunder? If you thought, "Lightning!" then hats off to you. But I had a more illuminating answer in mind. The air around a lightning bolt is superheated to about five times the temperature of the Sun. This sudden heating causes the air to expand faster than the speed of sound, which compresses the air and forms a shock wave; we hear it as thunder.

Sydney Bristow was recruited as an undergrad to work for SD-6, which she thought was a government agency. However, when her fiancé is killed by SD-6 agents, she finds out that SD-6 is actually a counter-government agency. Sydney approaches the CIA and becomes a double agent, which means that she goes on SD-6 missions, but passes the information about her missions to her CIA handler, Vaughn.
Sydney's father, Jack Bristow, is also an double agent. Both had a distant relationship for years, but their present situation brings them closer together. Sydney and her father spend the first season trying to foil SD-6's missions and preventing them from getting their hands on what they are determined to get. For years SD-6 has fought against FTL and K-Directorate, two crime organizations that are also in the pursue of various artifacts build by the 15th century scientist and prophet, Milo Rambaldi. However, when a new player referred to as "The Man" comes to town, FTL and K-Directorate are put out of business and SD-6 engages in the pursue of this new mysterious opponent.
This may be an unconventional blog, but the last two minutes of Alias has my mind spinning and it's all I can think about. I'm shocked, angry, and confused but also excited for next season. What happened? Two years missing? Hong Kong? A wedding ring? That scar on her stomach?
Did Irina's words about the prophecy actually pertaining to Sydney come true? Is the knowledge that comes with Rambaldi's "word" for her, and her alone? Did the Rambaldi device built by Sloane have something to do with Sydney's disappearance? Sark was behind glass, so the only people roaming free were Irina and Sloane. And whatever Sloane built must have been small enough to transport but powerful enough to shake the basement and cause the power to flicker. So did one of them "take" her? Does the device have something to do with time travel? Crap! So many questions and no answers make a great cliffhanger but does nothing to ease the mind!
And damn - Vaughn moved on fast. Two years and he's married? It took me nine months just to plan my wedding. A major Vaughn personality trait is loyal (or so we fans were lead to believe) and one would think he'd search high, low and long for Sydney…when did he have time to meet someone new, fall in love, plan a wedding and get married or did he take the easy route, settle and marry Alice in a quickie Vegas ceremony? And what exactly did Vaughn mean when he said, "I've come back to explain." Come back? From where? Is he no longer with the CIA?
And what about Jack? Why did Kendall send Vaughn to Hong Kong? Why didn't Jack go? I could write pages upon pages of the questions raised by the last two minutes and an explanation still wouldn't be there. At least Sydney's been missing for two years rather than knocked out and "dreaming" about what happened the entire season. When I saw her lying there my first reaction was, "Oh bollocks, J.J. is pulling a Dallas and making the entire season a dream." Come on Bittorrent hurry up and download series 3 for me (16 hours to go)

No matter what Flash-blinded web monkeys would have us believe, the Internet is a text-based medium: especially its major discussion forums (IRC and Usenet) where people from all over the world can interact and share information. A popular misconception about text messages on the Internet is that, to be an effective communicator and earn the respect and admiration of your peers, you must be able to write lucid prose; that your messages, articles, posts and pages must be easy to understand and pleasant to read.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Popular sites filled with cutting-edge Internet cognoscenti (such as Slashdot and ShackNews) give the lie to this harmful and destructive myth: they are brimming with horrific grammar, atrocious spelling, gratuitous abbreviation and childish, arrogant attitude. To be "in" on the net, you must write like a wanker.

Destroying the Earth is harder than you may have been led to believe. You've seen the action movies where the bad guy threatens to destroy the Earth. You've heard people on the news claiming that the next nuclear war or cutting down rainforests or persisting in releasing hideous quantities of pollution into the atmosphere threatens to end the world.

Fools.

The Earth is a 4,550,000,000-year-old, 5,973,600,000,000,000,000,000-tonne ball of iron. It was built to last. It has taken more devastating asteroid hits in its lifetime than you've had hot dinners, and lo, it still orbits merrily. So my first piece of advice to you, dear would-be Earth-destroyer, is: do NOT think this will be easy.

This is not a guide for wusses whose aim is merely to wipe out humanity. I can in no way guarantee the complete extinction of the human race via any of these methods, real or imaginary. Humanity is wily and resourceful, and many of the methods outlined below will take many years to even become available, let alone implement, by which time mankind may well have spread to other planets; indeed, other star systems. If total human genocide is your ultimate goal, you are reading the wrong document. There are far more efficient ways of doing this, many which are available and feasible RIGHT NOW.

Nor is this a guide for those wanting to annihilate everything from single-celled life upwards, render Earth uninhabitable or simply conquer it. These are trivial goals in comparison.

This is a guide for those who do not want the Earth to be there anymore.

:: Mission statement ::

For the purposes of what I hope to be a technically and scientifically accurate document, I will define our goal thus: by any means necessary, to render the Earth into a form in which it may no longer be considered a planet. Such forms include, but are most definitely not limited to: two or more planets; any number of smaller asteroids; a quantum singularity; a dust cloud.

:: Current Earth-destruction Status ::

Number of times the Earth has been destroyed: 0
Number of plans currently in progress with the final aim of bringing about the Earth's destruction: 0
Number of scientific experiments currently underway with the potential to bring about the Earth's destruction: 0
Minimum amount of time until the Earth is destroyed by natural means (discounting total existance failure): 25 years
Minimum amount of time until the Earth is destroyed by artificial means: 50 years
:: Know your enemy ::

Age: 4,550,000,000 years
Mass: 5,973,600,000,000,000,000,000 metric tonnes
Radius: 6,371 kilometres
Surface gravity: 9.798 metres per second per second
Escape velocity: 11,186 metres per second
Physical structure (simplified): Crust 0 to 35km Rock, hard and soft sediments, ice, miscellaneous 0 to 1000°C
Mantle 35 to 2900km Oxides of silicon, magnesium, iron and aluminium 1000 to 3700°C
Core 2900 to 6371km Iron (liquid shading to solid as you go deeper) 3700 to ~5000°C

Chemical composition by mass: 34.6% Iron
29.5% Oxygen
15.2% Silicon
12.7% Magnesium
2.4% Nickel
5.6% miscellaneous

read the full post here

Over 2,500 dogs are already enjoying a better life at Dog Island. Separated from the anxieties of urban life, dogs on Dog Island are healthy dogs who live a natural, healthy and happy life, free from the stress and hardship associated with daily live among humans.
They live with almost limitless space, and tens of thousands of rabbits, rodents, fish and other natural prey. Surrounded by thousands of other dogs, this is the only place for them to be truly social and create healthy families.Dogs at Dog Island have another chance. ok I know its a hoax as explained here

Beer.com's virtual bartender. Just like subservientchicken, but much sexier

How to masturbate without your roommate noticing

Stop wasting time folding shirts the normal way! How to Fold a Shirt shows you the latest techniques and tricks to fold t-shirts, sweaters, dress shirts and more; the RIGHT way!

WTF ? how on earth is this done, and more to the point what for?

Through the 1990s, the average weight of Americans increased by 10 pounds, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The extra weight caused airlines to spend $275 million to burn 350 million more gallons of fuel in 2000 just to carry the additional weight of Americans, the federal agency estimated in a recent issue of the American Journal of Preventive Medicine.

this is so outrageous"I apologise in the name of my government and my people for the Wembley goal from 1966 -- it wasn't in," the Queen says in the cartoon in Tuesday's Frankfurter Allgemeine daily entitled "Welcome Queen Elizabeth".

A German newspaper has sought to defuse a row over whether Britain should apologise for World War Two air raids on German cities by printing a cartoon showing Queen Elizabeth apologising for a controversial goal in the 1966 World Cup soccer final.
As we all know with the score at 2-2 in extra time in the final between England and Germany at Wembley Stadium, a Russian linesman awarded us a third goal after Geoff Hurst's shot had bounced down off the crossbar. Television replays have proved the ball crossed the line and the incident remains a major talking point in Germany.
Some German historians have said the Queen's three-day trip to Germany starting on Tuesday is an opportunity to recognise massive civilian casualties during Allied air raids on cities such as Dresden. What I say is ...

LOS ANGELES - Researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles are celebrating the anniversary of the first message sent over what would eventually become the internet. In the 1960s, computer scientists at American universities and in the U.S. Department of Defence devised a plan for a network of computers that could all communicate with each other.
After the hardware was put in place, researchers at UCLA attempted on Oct. 29, 1969, to log in to a computer at the Stanford Research Institute in Menlo Park, Calif.
In an interview on CBC Newsworld, Prof. Leonard Kleinrock admitted researchers weren't exactly prepared for the history-making moment. "[The message] wasn't anything like 'What hath God wrought?' or 'Come here, Watson. I want you,' or 'a giant leap for mankind.' We weren't that smart," he said, referring to the first messages over telegraph, over telephone and from the surface of the moon.
In order to log in to the two-computer network, which was then called ARPANET, programmers at UCLA were to type in "log," and Stanford would reply "in." The UCLA programmers only got as far as "lo" before the Stanford machine crashed.
But Kleinrock put a tongue-in-cheek positive spin on the less-than-momentous message. "The first message on the internet was 'Lo!' What better prophetic message could you ask for?" he said. The two computers wouldn't successfully link up until Nov. 21, 1969, but those two letters are considered the first message transmitted over the fledgling network.
ARPANET would grow to include more computers at universities and military bases across the U.S., before expanding into today's internet, which connects millions of computers worldwide. Kleinrock said he predicted in 1969 that the small network would eventually expand across the globe, making a vast amount of information accessible at any time from anywhere in the world.

Evolution of the internet
Oct. 29, 1969 The first message (the letters "l" and "o") is sent over ARPANET.
Dec. 1969 The University of Utah and University of California Santa Barbara now have ARPANET nodes, bringing the worldwide total to four.
1970 ARPANET has grown to 10 nodes and 19 host computers.
1971 The world's first network e-mail system is created.
1973 Hawaii joins ARPANET via the network's first satellite link.
1974 Telenet, the first commercially available version of ARPANET, is introduced by Bolt - Beranek & Newman (BBN).
1977 ARPANET grows to 111 hosts.
1980 A virus temporarily disables ARPANET.
1982 Transmission Control Protocol (TCP) and Internet Protocol (IP) established as system by which different networks can communicate. These linked networks come to be known as the internet.
1984 ARPANET grows to 1,000 hosts.
1985 All Canadian Universities are now connected to a shared network known as NetNorth.
1988 Canada joins NSFNET, an international backbone of computing centres that enables more network connections.
1989 the World Wide Web (WWW) is created by Tim Berners-Lee of the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (CERN) there are 100,000 internet hosts worldwide
1990 ARPANET ceases to function, giving way to the internet Tim Berners-Lee authors the first browser-editor, called WorldWideWeb. He also authors the communication language of the internet - Hypertext Transfer Protocol (HTTP) as well as the standard by which web pages were to be written, known as Hypertext Markup Language (HTML).
1992 The first audio and video is broadcast over the internet, which now has one million hosts.
1993 There are 15 million people online worldwide and the CBC's Bill Cameron reports, "The internet is growing like an embryonic brain at a rate of 10 per cent a month."
Oct. 1994 Netscape releases the beta version of the world's first commercially available web browser - Mozilla 0.96b.
1995 Sun Microsystems introduces Java programming language
RealAudio is introduced, allowing users to listen to audio over the internet in near-real time, the Vatican goes online with its home page
Sept. 1998 Search engine Google introduced
2002 There are more than two million internet hosts and 840 million users worldwide

A panel of experts in Japan believe they have hit on the world's best ever chat-up line. They say the combination of words is irresistible and any woman wooed with the phrase would be guaranteed to go weak at the knees. The phrase is: "Rainen no kono hi mo issho ni waratteiy-oh." Or in English: "This time next year, let's be laughing together."

The one that works best for me is a simple: "You'll do."

it was yesterday ... Halloween is an annual celebration, but just what is it actually a celebration of? And how did this peculiar custom originate? Is it, as some claim, a kind of demon worship? Or is it just a harmless vestige of some ancient pagan ritual? The word itself, "Halloween," actually has its origins in the Catholic Church. It comes from a contracted corruption of All Hallows Eve. November 1, "All Hollows Day" (or "All Saints Day"), is a Catholic day of observance in honor of saints. But, in the 5th century BC, in Celtic Ireland, summer officially ended on October 31. The holiday was called Samhain (sow-en), the Celtic New year.
One story says that, on that day, the disembodied spirits of all those who had died throughout the preceding year would come back in search of living bodies to possess for the next year. It was believed to be their only hope for the afterlife. The Celts believed all laws of space and time were suspended during this time, allowing the spirit world to intermingle with the living.
Naturally, the still-living did not want to be possessed. So on the night of October 31, villagers would extinguish the fires in their homes, to make them cold and undesirable. They would then dress up in all manner of ghoulish costumes and noisily paraded around the neighborhood, being as destructive as possible in order to frighten away spirits looking for bodies to possess.

some simple rules to keep us all safe (from ernies house):
1. - Don't assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.
2. - When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
3. - Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
4. - Don't go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out.
5. - If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.
6. - When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER split up and go it alone.
7. - Don't have sex. Especially if you've noticed a few of your friends are missing!
8. - As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell.
9. - Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.
10. - If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, don't stand there sighing with relief, GET THE FUCK OUT!
11. - If appliances start operating by themselves, don't check for short circuits; JUST GET THE FUCK OUT!
12. - Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
13. - If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.
14. - Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.
15. - If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely ambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
16. - If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
17. - Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
18. - If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had a full tank of gas, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten.
19. - Beware of strangers bearing strange tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.
20. - If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.

Halloween urban legends at snopes

Ghost pictures at www.ghostresearch.org

and what I would like to know is why didn't we get anyone calling at my door dressed like these asking me for "trick or treat" (click on picture for full size)