Horchow home decoration catalog (of Neiman Marcus) has this super-awesome tortoise foot stool (it’ll set you back $729!). Still, very cute
Three guys stayed at a skiing lodge, but there was only one room with one bed so they shared it.
During the night the guy on the left wakes up saying he had a dream where he got a hand job.
Incredulously the guy on the right says that he also had a dream where he got a hand job.
The guy in the middle says he dreamed he was skiing.
It's a beautiful, warm, spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo.
She's wearing a cute, loose fitting; almost see through, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. The zoo is not very busy this morning and as they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large, hairy gorilla. Noticing the girl, the gorilla goes ape.
He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty woman in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow some more........
The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along. She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down.
Now try lifting your dress up and flashing your beaver, he says. This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy, and now he's doing flips and has a hard-on like a baseball bat.
Then the husband grabs his wife, rips open the door to the cage, flings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut......
"Now, tell HIM you've got a f*#in' headache."
WOW! We waited 135 years for this, and didn't disappoint. What a Premiership debut!
I thought we started a little nervously, with a few individual mistakes - kicking the ball out of play, giving the ball away too cheaply, crosses being over-hit or getting blocked by the first defender. But gradually we re-found the quality we showed last season. Hahnemann might have done better for the first goal and was certainly at fault for the second, but even at 0-2 we were in the game: Schwarzer had pulled off a number of saves.
Many other teams would have folded. But this was the same squad that had played together all last year and often come from behind to preserve the 33-game run. The rest of the first half we were irresistible. Each time we went forward we looked dangerous, and even defenders such as Ingimarsson and Murty were getting forward. Our crossing got better and better. Kitson's goal was scrappy but determined, typifying our bulldog spirit. Sidwell's (off an Ingimarsson cross from the byline, no less) typified our quality. We continued where we left off in the second half - Doyle didn't make the greatest of connections from Seol's cross but kept battling, and finally got the ball away from him to Lita.
Boro had come back many times in their UEFA campaign, but we held in there. Our defense was shaky and Viduka's goal was clearly onside, but Hahnemann reverted to the rock of last season.
Reasons to be excited:
1) This was practically the same team as last year - but we showed our quality, especially going forward. Boro are normally a decent defensive team, but Schwarzer prevented it being 5 or 6.
2) Great battling spirit, our lads really fought for each other, even at 2-0 down, and didn't let off at 3-2. Right at the end, Hunt got the ball on the left and /three/ tired pairs of legs surged up the field to support.
Reasons to be cautious:
1) Our defending was pretty shaky throughout. We tended to back off any Boro player trying to dribble. Sonko left a ball for Hahnemann and Viduka should have equalized, but Hahnemann made a great save. Both Boro goals and the disallowed equalizer could have been better dealt with.
But our defenders are still adapting, and will get to top form soon; Hahnemann's second half was far better than his first.
Bring on the Villa, but until then, bask in our victory
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