Three men go into a hotel. The desk clerk said the room was £30, so each man paid £10 and went to the room. A while later, the desk clerk realized the room was only £25, so he sent the bellboy to the three guys' room with £5. On the way, the bellboy couldn't figure out how to split £5 evenly between three men, so he gave each man £1 and kept the other £2 for himself. This meant that the 3 men each paid £9 for the room, which is a total of £27. Add to that the £2 the bellboy kept and the total is £29. Where is the other £ ?
A lot of times I see these videos that become internet sensations and I wonder where they came from. Well this video shows the evolution of famous dramatic chip munk/ground hog/prairie dog...whatever it is.
... "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract. (real audio) (wav)
20.6.07 ::
18.6.07
type bunny suicides into your image searcher ... ...
some of the hilarious results below .. .
18.6.07 ::
Science says ...
A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with very low intellect read their e-mails and blogs with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now. It's too late.
18.6.07 ::
You have been warned! ...
The car park on Vastern Road in Reading (open carpark behind the station) is private for the users of TGIs, Mothercare and Majestic Wines - landowners g=have authorised scum clampers for anyone using the car park to collect parcels from the Royal Mail sorting office. £120 release fee I have been informed. The bloke in the Royal Mail said they had done 15 people already, at £120 a pop. They are waiting in two white Thrifth vans watching people go into the Royal Mail, the moment you are in there they have the clamp on the car. There are lots of warning signs up, and fair play to the PO, they've put some signs up on their side of the fence too. The car park now allows 3 hours parking, it used to be 2. So if you can sneak out on foot without being seen - you get extra parking time! I'm sure the extortionists are targeting just PO parkers, being the easy targets - so park near Majestic and walk in to town! There are signs up in each store (well all 3 that are open: Majestic, Mothercare and TGIs) saying that the stores have no control over the parking and to speak to the parking agents themselves. I'm sure each store would speak differently when confronted with bad press! And though the clampers are scum - what about the Royal Mail? It's all well and good for them to try to warn people as they come in - but what are they doing to sort out where you park when you have to go there? It's their fault at the end of the day. Everyone should call them up and tell them to oxf*rd off - that you want your package delivered again and you want it at a specific time - (not an 'all day' delivery) until they get their parking sorted out.
...imagine if all major brands & retailers started making their own condoms and keeping the same tagline...
Sainsbury's Condoms - making life taste better
Tesco Condoms - every little helps
Nike Condoms - Just do it.
Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.
Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.
KFC Condoms - Finger Licking good.
Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
Safeway condoms - Lightening the load.
Abbey National condoms - because life is complicated enough.
Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.
Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going.
Macintosh condoms - It does more, it costs less, it's that simple
Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop
Burger king condoms - Home of the whopper
Goodyear condoms - for a longer ride go wide
FCUK condoms - no comment required.
Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain.
Flash condoms - Just sit back, relax and let Flash do all the hardwork.
Halfords condoms - we go the extra mile.
Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.
Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
Renault condoms - size really does matter!
Ronseal condoms - does exactly what it says on the tin
Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in about 30 minutes
Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!!
Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world
Mars condoms - a condom a day helps you work rest and play
AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service
Pepperoni condoms - its a bit of an animal
Polo condoms - the condom with the hole!!! (VERY poor seller!!!)
18.6.07 ::
15.6.07
ok its two weeks today since I stopped smoking ...
I think one of the main reasons it’s so hard to quit smoking is because all the benefits of quitting and all the dangers of continuing seem very far away. Well, here’s a little timeline about some of the more immediate effects of quitting smoking and how that will affect your body RIGHT NOW.
In 20 minutes your blood pressure will drop back down to normal.
In 8 hours the carbon monoxide (a toxic gas) levels in your blood stream will drop by half, and oxygen levels will return to normal.
In 48 hours your chance of having a heart attack will have decreased. All nicotine will have left your body. Your sense of taste and smell will return to a normal level.
In 72 hours your bronchial tubes will relax, and your energy levels will increase.
In 2 weeks your circulation will increase, and it will continue to improve for the next 10 weeks (where I am now)
In three to nine months coughs, wheezing and breathing problems will dissipate as your lung capacity improves by 10%.
In 1 year your risk of having a heart attack will have dropped by half.
In 5 years your risk of having a stroke returns to that of a non-smoker.
In 10 years your risk of lung cancer will have returned to that of a non-smoker.
In 15 years your risk of heart attack will have returned to that of a non-smoker.
So, you have more immediate things to look forward to if you quit now besides just freaking out about not being able to smoke. Click piccy below for more
The tooth fairy is a character in modern Western culture said to give children a small amount of money (or sometimes a gift) in exchange for a deciduous tooth when it comes out of a child's mouth. The Tooth Fairy is an example of folklore mythology which adults know is fiction, but which is sometimes presented to children as fact. Other prominent examples are Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. The realization or discovery that such stories are make-believe is considered a part of the child's growing up. Such realizations can also cause significant emotional pain in some children due to feelings of betrayal, while other children regard it as a small matter or are proud of themselves for having unmasked the truth. Many adults remember clearly for their whole lives when and how they discovered the truth. Many families participate in the roles of this myth even when the children are also aware of the fictionality of the supposed supernatural entity, as a form of play or tradition. This tradition is present in several western cultures under different names, for example in Spanish-speaking countries, this character is called Ratoncito Pérez, a little mouse with a common surname. In Italy also the tooth fairy (fatina) is often substited by a small mouse (topino). Tooth traditions in different parts of the world have been collected together in the excellent children's book Throw your tooth on the roof: tooth traditions from around the world written by Selby Beeler and illustrated by G. Brian Karas (Houghton Mifflin, 1998). Tooth Fairy RitualTypically, upon losing a tooth the child places the tooth under his or her pillow before going to sleep. In the morning the child finds a coin, small banknote, or a present in the place of the tooth. In reality, this is usually done by the child's parents. A less-common variant is for the child to place the tooth in a glass of water beside the bed. Again, in the morning, the tooth is replaced with a coin. This variant is becoming more common, as it is far easier for parents to find a tooth in a glass of water beside the bed without waking the child than it is to search under the pillow. The primary useful purpose of the tooth-fairy myth is probably to give children a small reward and something to look forward to when they lose a tooth, a process which they might otherwise find worrisome. It is fun for both parent and child. It also gives children a reason to give up a part of themselves that they may have grown attached to. In some Asian countries, such as Japan and Korea, when a child loses a tooth the usual custom is that he or she should throw it onto the roof if it came from the lower jaw, or into the space beneath the floor if it came from the upper jaw. While doing this, the child shouts a request for the tooth to be replaced with the tooth of a mouse. This tradition is based on the fact that mice's teeth go on growing for their whole life. The similarity to Western traditions about mice and teeth is most likely a coincidence
11.6.07 ::
7.6.07
my favourites at present ...
Staring at the sun
Wolf
Tonight
last but not least an amazing live performance
7.6.07 ::
Maxim vs afterellen.com ...
We heard what Maxim / FHM thinks. What about the lesbians, how do they rate the hottest women? Let's face it: Maxim doesn't cater to lesbians. In fact, you could say it flies in the face of all that they hold dear, especially when it declares Lindsay Lohan the hottest of them all, as it did when it published The Maxim Hot 100 List last month. So this site asked its readers, to create their own list of hotties, and you came out in droves to nominate the women they think deserve to be on the AfterEllen.com Hot 100 List. Thousands of votes later, they have the results.
Ones that stand out for me (as a practicing male lesbian) are: 5. Sarah Shahi 18. Elizabeth Mitchell 22. Evangeline Lilly 28. Kate Beckinsale 55. Queen Latifah (LOL)
7.6.07 ::
what a rush ...
7.6.07 ::
Wow-wow-wow-wa-wa-wa-wa ...
Today's Mental Floss quiz was quite pleasant. Match the guitar solo to the song it's from (or artist or album, they're all listed). It's a bit easier if you are of a certain age, which I apparently am with 13 out of 16.
7.6.07 ::
6.6.07
20 mph ridiculous ...
BRITAIN’S towns and cities face the introduction of an “impractical” 20mph speed limit for all vehicles, it emerged last night. The drastic new restrictions on urban driving could be imposed by all councils across the country in a matter of months. Portsmouth today becomes the first city in Britain to introduce the tough new measures. And campaigners say it is only a matter of time before the 20mph limit is rolled out across the nation. Experts claim the imposed go-slow will help to save lives and protect pedestrians and cyclists. But furious critics yesterday branded the move as an escalation in the bitter war against Britain’s motorists. It was even claimed that the new limit could increase the number of accidents. Paul Smith, from campaign group Safe Speed, said: “It’s a knee-jerk reaction and an ill-founded one. If you get to the point where a speed limit feels unnatural, it affects a driver’s attention. The Government has given all local authorities the power to cut residential speed limits to 20mph, and Liberal Democrat-run Portsmouth City Council became the first to take up the offer. The £475,000 scheme was launched in the south-east of the city today, with other residential roads to follow by the end of the year. The new limit will eventually affect 187 miles of roads within the city.
edit: Here is a revolutionary idea. Pick up all of the speed cameras. Find the locations in the UK with the worst accident rates. Put all the camera down at those locations. Reduce speed limits to 20MPH in the vicinity of all schools. Job done. Oh hang on. Reduced speed camera revenues? Oh, this plan is clearly unworkable then.
6.6.07 ::
what a waste ... ...
The London 2012 Olympics Logo was unveiled earlier this week. The BBC has almost 3,000 comments about it, almost all negative. The design was posted on Reddit as “resembles Lisa Simpson giving head.” People apparently hate it. Of course, b3ta are on the case here and here and here. Alternate designs have been suggested, including one that was pulled. It seems like everyone on London has the same question: how much did this hideous design cost?
Update: I hear the pink logo cost the equivalent of £400,000 and took 3 months.
The car park on Vastern Road in Reading (open carpark behind the station) is private for the users of TGIs, Mothercare and Majestic Wines - landowners g=have authorised scum clampers for anyone using the car park to collect parcels from the Royal Mail sorting office. £120 release fee I have been informed.
...imagine if all major brands & retailers started making their own condoms and keeping the same tagline...
The tooth fairy is a character in modern Western culture said to give children a small amount of money (or sometimes a gift) in exchange for a deciduous tooth when it comes out of a child's mouth. 
The London 2012 Olympics Logo was unveiled earlier this week. The BBC has almost 3,000 comments about it, almost all negative. The design was posted on Reddit as “resembles Lisa Simpson giving head.” People apparently hate it.
Get your for only 2 payments of $29.95… that’s $59.90 plus handling and shipping of course.
